So last night as I was ready for bed, I turned on Craig Ferguson to see who his musical act was for the evening. It was David Lee Roth (front man for Van Halen until 1985) and he was singing "Jump." In Bluegrass. Yes. Blue. Grass. Fiddles, and banjos and shit. Blue. Grass.
Ok need I stress anymore how completely assinine this display of attempted "re-invention" really is and how completely disturbing the fiasco/performance was to watch? It was really sad to watch him clap his hands and stomp his feet in tune to FIDDLES for fucks sake with his short, old man hair, striped "I'm legit" shirt and very loose jeans (must have Spandex balls). "Jump" was Van Halen's 1st and greatest commercial success.
I dont feel the least bit sorry for Mr. Roth about his inferiority complex/competition with Sammy Hagar. It makes me cringe that one of the greatest guitar riffs was reduced to banjo-fucking-plucking and if Eddie Van Halen is sober right now, I hope to fuck he throws his Jim Bean bottle at David's oddly shaped head.
My entire early childhood was defined by that song. My parents bought the vinyl (yes vinyl) just for me so I could dance to it. My aunt and I would sit in my uncle's S-10 pickup and play the cassette over and over again. That song was undoubtedly my favorite and it was castrated in all its glory last night...to fucking FIDDLES!!!
Oh the HUMANITY!!!!
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