Losing my brains....

I think its bound to happen...the longer I'm unemployed, the more likely I'm going to lose my brains...my education, my 100k education thankyouverymuch.

I fear if I do actually get an interview, I'll get questioned about the standard explanation of paranoid schizophrenia from the DSM and I'll sit there and stare at them with this deeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr look on my face.....and not know how to do it. Even more fun is if they ask me what therapy I would use on meth addicted prostitutes...yep, thanks, I'll pass this one....

Then they'll look at me like why do you feel youre qualified to assess and therapize our patients, roll their eyes and tell me to get the hell out of their office.

Yep...I'm awesome.

No seriously, I HATE being umemployed against my will. It would be one thing if I was able to work, but I cant without a work permit. Employers up here dont know how to do that, so they wont hire me. I have applied for a few positions for shits and giggles, not really expecting anything to come of it.

So what have I been doing with my time? Not reading my textbooks obviously, since their still back in NoDak packed away. Reading a lot of other books...you need a book recommendation I can give you one, I've read at least 100 books since November. I try to read relevant books like my latest "Dry" by Augusten Burroughs. He write about his alcoholism and sobriety...so I can sit there and feel like I'm smart when I nod my head up and down vigorously as if I could therapize him and his problems. Yeah right. I also bought a book on female serial killers...and I'm trying to slog through a book on the Mob, but thats taking awhile.

Lets see...my SIMS have been drowned, promoted, re-produced, famous, bred puppies and kitties and crafty with their magic. My husband recently reformmated my computer so they have now been laid to rest permanently...well until my brother in law borrows me his SIMS 2 game.

I need a new hobby.

Its finally warming up here, which means Todd and I have been out biking and trying to get active again. I have a shitty knee which limits me in many ways. I'm trying to work around it.

Our town has a big lake and because of the big lake we have spiders. Lots of them. At least one at every window of our apartment. I hate spiders. And they arent little spiders, they're big spiders. I am watching one now, dangle from the roof, weaving his web. Its disgusting.

I'm obsessed with babies lately too. As if we could even start a family right now but its there anyway.

I'm bitter lately and its not healthy. I'm bored and tired and sick of sitting around useless. I really hope my PR gets here soon, for my sanity. If I'm not working by this winter, I'll need to be in the padded room, instead of working in the padded room.

Its amazing my husband tolerates me. Lately I'm sure its been harder for him to do so. Some days I can barely tolerate him. Welcome to real life, real marriage folks. Its not all roses and sunshine and puppies shooting out my ass. In general we're very happy. But there are days when we probably dont like each other very much. I think thats normal if its temporary.

I miss my friends. I have two friends up here and have attempted to make more but they arent very receptive. Every been in a room at someones house who is throwing a party and invited you, but barely acknowledges they know you are in the room?? Yep...thats pretty awesome and its what I've put up with twice now. I'm not so convinced I'll put up with it a third time.

Camp opens up this weekend, will be nice to have something to break up the monotony. Have a few summer trips planned around Ontario.

The spider is still there. God it gives me the willies.

Anyway, thats a really random update from me. Life isnt that exciting up here.