Running Woman...

So I've decided to start running...

Maybe jogging...

Ok so for me...fast walking.

In all seriousness, I went and bought myself a pair of running shoes. My first real pair of shoes made for running.

Saucony's in fact. What a fancy name...wish I knew how to say it.

At any rate, I intend to start an indoor program tomorrow at the gym. There is this thing I found on the interwebs (God(dess) Bless the Google) that outlines a running program for beginners. So I'll start with that.

Once the ice/sand/water/snow crap-medley is gone, I'll be running with Todd outdoors.

I plan to weight train as well in tandem with this running gig. So we'll see how this all shakes out.

So slightly excited/terrifed/freaked out and like I'm going to barf.....I suppose thats a normal feeling when trying something new right??

I have a few friends up here that are runners and two are training for a marathon...ugh...yeah I'll never have that kind of mental insanity but I do admire their drive. My good friend Emily is a runner too. So with all these runners around me, I guess I have a buncha experts to help me out eh?

Any way, so thats my newest thing. I plan to run 3 times a week at first, and do weights at least once a week to start out.

I'm finding as I age and find out more and more about health, fitness and sickness that I dont do a very good job of taking care of myself physically. Mentally I think I shake out ok (well minus the anger issues I have against certain family members, but I'm working those out too)....but physically I could use some work. So I guess this is a start in a new direction. I found that when I joined the gym back in August that I felt better despite not seeing direct results on the scale. I've been slacking hard core for the last few months so its time to get back at it.

At any rate, I have really really pretty Saucony shoes.

Running shoes for a running woman...

Closet Rocker...

Your 80s Song is "Sweet Child O' Mine"

If you were transported back to the 80s, your life would be all about rock and roll. You love the free wheeling, wild atmosphere of the 80s - even if there were consequences later on. You think of the 80s as a time of partying hard and letting loose. Even if you find a lot of the 80s nostalgia to be a bit lame, you truly believe there was no better decade.

What's" Your 80s Karaoke Song?

The hunt is on...

Again.

So I'm 4 weeks from my contract at work ending and I have no idea if I'll have a job at the end of it or not.

Which is only slightly nerve-wracking.

Ok maybe a lot.

But really I cant dwell on it too much or I'll drive myself batshit crazy. I just have to go to work everyday and pretend that it isnt going to end in 4 weeks. Continue to do my job as if I'll be there forever.

So I'm quietly looking for another job in the meantime.

Just in case...ya know, it cant hurt. If I get called for an interview between now and then, I may either have a decision to make or an offer...or none of the above and its back to the soup kitchen for me.

Ok not really...we wont be eating soup.

Rice and beans??

More likely than soup.

The other contract that was hired after me...the one I dont get along with....said that she "put it out there in the universe" that she wanted a job and that her "age" she was ready for permanency. As if being older somehow entitles her to a permanent job.

As if being 27 and ready for children isnt reason enough for permanency.

Fuck her.

If I havent made it clear enough to the universe that I've worked my ass off for 13 years so I could have a decent job and make a decent living, then I'm not sure what the hell else I'm supposed to do to make it clear.

I put it out there in the universe in February when I applied for the permanent job at the agency. And that didnt get me very far.

I'm starting to think that either I dont have enough faith in the universe or I've been way too patient for the universe to start going in my direction.

Actually I dont put faith in the universe because I dont believe it works that way. Yeah yeah, think as fucking positive as you want but the honest truth is that if you dont work very goddamn hard then you shouldnt get rewarded no matter how much you think you should or all those so-called positive thoughts you may put out there.

So instead of putting faith into the universe, I put faith in myself.

That my hard work, accomplishments, set-backs, sweat and tears will eventually pay off.

Perhaps it wont be on my timeline (by August 2009 thanks, just in case the universe is reading) or be the perfect job right away (psych associate on the forensic unit at the hospital), but I can live with that.

Honestly I can and I have.

Because I do have enough faith to know and believe in myself.

And enough faith to know that no matter how long it takes to get there...

I will get there on my own accord.

2 Minutes...

Its Thursday...almost Friday...which means its probably a good day. Getting up this morning was good and I was well rested and ready for my day. I figured it would be a good day.

And yet I got to work today, was there 2 minutes and barely got myself checked in on the in/out board, when I met with my first ridiculous co-worker encounter of the day.

Its a co-worker I dont like at all...one of those "therapists." See previous post.

So after I had been condescended to and basically told how to do my job, I forcibly placed a smile on my face and did NOT tell her to kiss my ass.

But oh it was tempting...

Surrounded by Neuroticism

So I'm a therapist by trade. Which means that I spend most of the day shaking my head, bored out of ever loving mind, and wondering how the hell I can possibly help these people when I dont practice what I preach and can barely take care of myself.

At least that is the stereotype that non-therapists hold about therapists.

I do spend much of the day shaking my head...but not at clients unless they do something really friggin bizarre.

But the mentally ill and addicted do really bizarre things all the time so most of the time its nothing really out of the ordinary.

But it does catch one's attention when its really "special." Like they made an effort to really display how fucked up they are in the head.

No we actually spend most of the time shaking our heads at the system....the system that bogs us down with paperwork, guidelines and laws....the same system of course that we are also entwined into and get paid by eventually. What the system doesn't quite understand is that having my client's file well put together and the paperwork well maintained is that it doesn't usually solve their incredible craving for Percs and booze, or their inability to handle their depression and sexual thoughts.

As for the whole bored thing?

Never. Its literally quite impossible with all of the crap I absorb everyday.

What about the whole practing what I preach/walking the talk bullshit??

Totally fucking TRUE...

Some of the time...

But this is my calling and I accept it. Calling...yeah right.

I have this calling due to my 100k debt from getting myself educated enough so I can shake my head at people, be bored at my job and preach but not walk.

More like a calling from my fucking monthly bank statement...

Fuck. That. Shit.

There are a couple of interesting things about therapists. One is they never "turn off" the fucking therapist.

All damn day even when their on lunch and off the clock, they are "on."

Sitting in the breakroom, when everybody is enjoying their Lean Cuisines and moldy oranges and decaffinated water, they're analyzing...pondering...questioning...commenting. On everybody else's comments, jokes, life stories and what their ingesting that day.

They look at every little comment, nuance, joke, cuss word, fart, sideways look and message in their raspberry flavored green tea leaves and see that somehow, somewhere in that nuance or fart that there is a "problem."

A problem that has to be fixed.

I actually think most people are pretty healthy. Most people have a good family, support system, friends, a job they like, enough money for their wants and needs, enough leisure time...etc etc etc. Most people got their shit figured out.

Of course therapists...they never look at their own problems. Oh no no no..that just wouldnt do.

Unless of course they are those wicked even smaaater therapists that have "done their own work."

Fuck. That. Shit.

Or they think they are immune to the problems their clients are experiencing in their life because they have "all the tools," "all the info," "all the brains."

More like shit for brains...

Worse yet, aside from therapizing their own co-workers when they're trying to enjoy their lunch, they go home and therapize their partners/kids/parents/family dog/neighbor's cat.

Like hellooo.....doing therapy in any capacity with someone you know is against ethical standards...uhhh dual relationship anybody???

So I propose a guidebook...something for therapists...oh how about a code? Thats a pretty word...a code that talks about how one should conduct themselves in a normal social setting that covers the following:

Thou shalt not therapize your co-workers when off the clock...or hell EVER...shut the hell up and mind your own damn business.

Thou shalt not interject your therapeutic analysis into every possible thing. Sometimes shit isnt always that deep.

Thou shalt not speak in therapy terms more than 75% of the time when at work...the other 25% is when you arent interacting with clients or your boss so fucking let loose for once.

Thou shalt not analyze the dog's farts.

Thou shalt not therapize any member of your family, immediate social circle or distance social circle. You may only do therapy with clients. And if you know the poor bastard, because christ-almighty they are really fucked up if they know you on a personal level, do the ethical thing and get them re-assigned.

See the thing is...we all have issues right? I have no doubt that issues exist within the human race and myself. However issues dont necessarily mean "problems." Maybe you crack jokes about your hubby, maybe you have an uncle you dont like very much. Perhaps your mother is overbearing or you think your ass could easily support a platter of assorted cookies. Maybe you have a semi-monthly argument about the recycleing with your husband.

Whatever...the point is, it doesnt mean you have some underlying deep issue going back to your childhood when you didnt learn to wipe your ass properly.

So when I crack a joke...its because I like jokes. And when I make a smart-ass comment...its because I really am a smart ass.

If I ever assume that every person who has issues automatically has "problems..."

I'll probably kick my own ass...


By the way...I think I have the title to my first book...

Neglectful Blogger...

I'm lame.

That is all I have to say about that.

Hmmm lets see...I've been thinking about shutting this blog down. I barely update it.

Then I read back on the archives and am slightly amused at my musings.

So maybe I'll keep it up longer.

Life is busy, thus the lack of blogging content...not because I have nothing to write about, just no time to write.

DH and I are house hunting. We hope to have something by the end of the year. Its pretty much the most ridiculously detailed major purchase we'll ever make and its slightly overwhelming some days and underwhelming other days.

Can you be just whelmed??

I'm navigating baby fever. We'll see how much I write about THAT juicy little tidbit.

NO I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!

LOL

Canada is the same...nothing new, just falling down the economy rabbit hole like the States.

I'm working full time now and really hope I can stay beyond March. I really enjoy my work, but its hard not to have the savior complex when people's lives are actually on the line everyday.

I miss everybody, hope I can see some friends this year :)

Will try to get more vigilant about this blogging business. For now, enjoy Pink's video...normally I dont care for her, but I dig some of her stuff...this song is one of my favorites.

Ta-ta for now! :)

Colin Powell

Colin Powell is a well respected American General and member of the Republican Party. He was Secretary of State, a Cabinet level position, under GW. Bush and Chairmen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the highest ranking military officer of all US Forces. under GHW Bush. Today on Meet the Press, a non-partisan political news show on NBC, he spoke very candidly and intelligently about the two men running for President. Please watch, its very informative.

Why This Election Matters...

Example 1

So we dont have 8 more years of buffoonery in the highest leaders of our country.

Of course, rank and file Repubs dont care...they'll vote for the party, regardless of how dangerous it is for the nation. Rank and file Repubs dont even understand that their party is a mere skeleton of what it is supposed to be and if you arent scared about this woman and a 72 year old man who isnt even the same honorable guy he thinks he is, then you havent been paying attention.

I have tons of time on my hands....

And nothing interesting to write about. Strange... like the cat on the left...Love him!! Just want to squeeze his little cheeks!!

Anyway, due to a request from Emmiloni I am writing an update...witicisms, life in Canada, joblessness and awesomeness, and general hilarity will follow. Pictures to help narrate, of course!
Since the May update, I have acquired residency. We took a trip home to the US that started in Toronto when my dear husband bought me tickets to see Dave Matthews Band for my birthday. Though he was awesome and Dave was awesome, I missed my girls terribly. It just wasnt the same without you guys, though Todd was a suitable replacement and now a pseudo-fan and doesnt mind if I play Drive In, Drive Out over and over and over.

Speaking of Dave...RIP Leroi. I'm happy I got to see him in one of his final shows. The band wont be same without you and when I hear Grey Street or the Stone, I just cry a little inside.

Anyway after the concert we drove from Toronto to North Dakota in a day and a half. We drove across Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota and North Dakota in 24 hours. Michigan was ok, at least the mainland as it is populated better than the UP. Indiana (well at least Gary Indiana) I am convinced is the armpit of America. God what a shitty town. So shitty in fact that the water sanitation department (aka, place to remove shit from your drinking water) had the "Welcome to Gary" sign plastered on it as we drove by. Quite fitting I must say.

Chicago was awesome, but we drove right through it of course. Then we ended up in Eau Claire Wisconsin at 1am after driving through 3 hours of rain and thunderstorms ending our 14 hour first day. My god the Super 8 never felt so good...it wasnt the most aesthetically pleasing hotel I've ever slumbered in but at that hour after that long of a drive, it didnt matter. By the way, we totally drove through Wisconsin without stopping for cheese...what the hell is the matter with us???

The next morning was an 8 hour drive through Minnesota and North Dakota to end up in Minot. The things I do for my extended family. We were in Fargo, less than a mile from my parents house and we kept right on going for another 4 hours. Holy christ....

Anyway it was worth it. I got to see my grandparents, my aunts and uncles and my cousins. We had a good time and some funny stories to tell. Then we drove back to Fargo and spent the week there.

The drive back was uneventful. I insisted on stopping at a Taco John's in Ashland Wisconsin for potato ole's. There are no Taco John's in Canada and my husband had his first potato ole dunked in nacho cheesy goodness. It was no easy feat...we had to traverse a mile of construction detours to get to the TJ's but it was worth it. Well until we got to Michigan when I started feeling ill from the grease.

Michigan in the UP sucks. Lets be honest...Marquette is the only thing going for that part of the State. The US should have just let Canada have that piece of land, its totally worthless. There is a 40km straight road between Marquette and Sault Ste Marie with NOTHING there. Not a hotel, a gas station, an adult video store....trees, trees, and more trees with Lake Superior buried behind them somewhere.

Immigration ended on a high note with me getting residency and not getting stripped searched at the border. I was so hoping for a cavity search but they didnt even open the van to check out my stuff which was piled high to the top. In all, it took 40 minutes at the border to close 8 months of stagnancy and bureaucratic bullshit that took over my life.

Canada Day was awesome. My first Canada Day as a resident. After the trip to the States, we went to Ottawa for a week. Ottawa is a great city. Way better than Toronto and I would totally live in Ottawa. We ate good for a week and got fat...Portugese, Latin (mmm empanadas, how I love thee), Italian, Irish....ugh...fantastic. Not only is the food fantastic, its a really clean city. I suppose if the capital of your country looked like Gary Indiana it wouldnt be such a great place, right?

We spent a lot of time at the lake cabin this summer. Too much but thats another post. I have a tan...well sort of, as tan as I'll ever get.

Then we went to Montreal. Correction, we went to a suburb of Montreal. God they get me all hyped for a new city, a fabulous city in fact, and then I see the goddamned suburbs. Ugh!! My husband owes me big time. The highlight was I got to see Quebec where there is no English on the signs and everybody speaks French first. Of course they'll talk English when you answer their "Bonjour" with "Hi." But they look at you as though you farted in the store. And I know enough French to get started in a conversation but not enough to stay committed.

Which is why we are going to Montreal in November for a hockey game. My first Canadiens hockey game at the Bell Centre. I'm super excited! By then I'll have taken a French Second Language course so I'll be able to get almost committed to a conversation....I might fart in the stores just to get the look anyway.

Still not working. Freaking awesome. Not only am I not working, I'm not getting interviews for jobs I've applied for. Doubly freaking awesome. Does wonders on the self-esteem and mental health. I did just get one interview scheduled for Thursday at a local college for a teaching position. Not my ideal but beggars cant be choosers...though they can become meth addicted hookers which is the road I am headed upon if I dont get a job soon.

We've been married just short of a year and that is really the best part of our life right now, despite all my kvetching about everything else. We are happy and we make each other laugh everyday. He's easy on the eyes too and he treats me like a queen. Things havent been easy...in fact I think the 8 month mark we disliked each other a lot for awhile. But its a bump and we're over it. Never lasts long around here. We are headed to Niagara Falls for anniversary. I think it'll be fun and beautiful with the fall colors. I'll post pictures of course.

Canada is good too. I get healthcare next week...wooo! Hmm what else? Still not sold on the bagged milk...I think it tastes funny...and the grocery stores finally introduced Count Chocula last week. Praise Baby Jesus, indeed!!

I've been following the American political season like crazy, deciding who I will vote for. I get to send in one of those nifty absentee ballots. Let me just say, now that I'm on the outside looking in and getting broader coverage with an international spin is that most Americans are stupid when it comes to politics and I am truly scared as to what this election will bring if we dont have an educated vote. Get educated on real issues people!! The economy is in the toilet, the rest of the world is laughing at us, our no left behind children are mind-numbingly stupid, and our men and women are coming back from a war that is disintegrating their sanity one day at a time. I swear to God if someone cries out sexist the next time an incompetent woman isnt given enough 'deference,' and questioned on her lack of sound policies, I'm gonna scream!!





By the way...





Rihanna is hot. Last year I was hot for Shakira...this year its Rihanna. In fact, lets just have both at the same time.

Yes please....

I'm such a sexist.

This one is for you Em...

I promise to update soon....lol....