So...an MRI on Wednesday for my knee...faaaan-freeakin-tastic bitches. Doc says the steroids didnt work as well as they should have so here's a new less potent pill and get yourself one of them fun pictures so we can figure out whats really wrong here. Need to find out if there is a tear of some kind or if they need to stick me with a needle or other possible remedies. All the walking I do and riding the buses and trains does not help. Its very hard on my knees and I know that this is part of it. At the same time, I need to get this healed up so I don't have problems later in life.
So when I got home, I called my dad and pretty much lost it on the phone. I'm so stressed out and worried about my knee, school and everything else and I can't see straight. Then I was talking to Rumba and getting upset with him because I felt like he wasnt listening. Then I had to just calm the fuck down before I upset myself any further.
And then Rumba called me! He hasn't called me in months...I either call him or we talk online (plus we've seen each other more in the last few months). Normally I'm cool with this because he does live at home and it is his parents phone bill. They do so much for us already, helping us with trips to see each other that I don't mind calling him so its my phone bill. Then lately I've become such a damn girl about everything and started wondering why he never called just to talk or hear my voice. So then like an ass, I tested him to see when he would call me. And in the process upsetting myself. He didn't know any of this of course because I was being an ass and wouldn't tell him. Ya know...I create my own misery sometimes...and girls do this a lot and I'm normally really pissed off at those girls for playing games...well here I'm doing it too. And I also know that guys in general just don't like the phone. So anyhow, he called me today because I think he could tell I just really needed to talk. And I did! It made me so happy that he called. Hearing his voice is so soothing and he says things that always make me laugh and feel better. I am so lucky to have him. No more games though. If I want something from him, I just need to tell him because he can't read my mind especially from 600+ miles away and I only make it worse on me which is unfair to him. Honey if you're reading this...I'm sorry for being a girl and an ass...and thank you for being there for me and putting up with my tears and fears lately. I appreciate you so much. Nothing makes me happier than you and what you bring to my life I love you!
I bought some movies today. Sleepers, Wizard of Oz, The Thomas Crowne Affair and The 40 Year Old Virgin. Woo Blockbuster. Well I don't have much for tv so I watch a lot of movies. And I buy movies I can watch over and over again. So a little movie therapy was in order today.
My mom called me tonight too. So we reviewed the day and then we both just vented at each other about everything that is going on in our lives. It always feels really good to talk to my mom. She's my rock.
As for this week, its do or die time. I have lots of school work to do tomorrow and I have to get my cover letters written this week for all my information to be mailed out on Friday!! Eeek, did that ever come fast. Emmy Lou and Coop-A-Loop are coming to see me too so that will be nice. A friend of mine from school is celebrating her birthday on Thursday so a few of us are going out for the evening. I won't be able to drink due to the meds but it'll be a fun night I'm sure. And of course the MRI on Wednesday. Pray for me folks. I really really hope its just a matter of staying off it for a few weeks and medicating it a bit longer.
Currently Reading: Law and The Mental Health System..woo insanity defense! Go Crazies Go!
Currently Listening: Filthy/Gorgeous by the Scissor Sisters
Current Mood: Up and Down...looking for the light
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