Closet Rocker...

Your 80s Song is "Sweet Child O' Mine"

If you were transported back to the 80s, your life would be all about rock and roll. You love the free wheeling, wild atmosphere of the 80s - even if there were consequences later on. You think of the 80s as a time of partying hard and letting loose. Even if you find a lot of the 80s nostalgia to be a bit lame, you truly believe there was no better decade.

What's" Your 80s Karaoke Song?

The hunt is on...

Again.

So I'm 4 weeks from my contract at work ending and I have no idea if I'll have a job at the end of it or not.

Which is only slightly nerve-wracking.

Ok maybe a lot.

But really I cant dwell on it too much or I'll drive myself batshit crazy. I just have to go to work everyday and pretend that it isnt going to end in 4 weeks. Continue to do my job as if I'll be there forever.

So I'm quietly looking for another job in the meantime.

Just in case...ya know, it cant hurt. If I get called for an interview between now and then, I may either have a decision to make or an offer...or none of the above and its back to the soup kitchen for me.

Ok not really...we wont be eating soup.

Rice and beans??

More likely than soup.

The other contract that was hired after me...the one I dont get along with....said that she "put it out there in the universe" that she wanted a job and that her "age" she was ready for permanency. As if being older somehow entitles her to a permanent job.

As if being 27 and ready for children isnt reason enough for permanency.

Fuck her.

If I havent made it clear enough to the universe that I've worked my ass off for 13 years so I could have a decent job and make a decent living, then I'm not sure what the hell else I'm supposed to do to make it clear.

I put it out there in the universe in February when I applied for the permanent job at the agency. And that didnt get me very far.

I'm starting to think that either I dont have enough faith in the universe or I've been way too patient for the universe to start going in my direction.

Actually I dont put faith in the universe because I dont believe it works that way. Yeah yeah, think as fucking positive as you want but the honest truth is that if you dont work very goddamn hard then you shouldnt get rewarded no matter how much you think you should or all those so-called positive thoughts you may put out there.

So instead of putting faith into the universe, I put faith in myself.

That my hard work, accomplishments, set-backs, sweat and tears will eventually pay off.

Perhaps it wont be on my timeline (by August 2009 thanks, just in case the universe is reading) or be the perfect job right away (psych associate on the forensic unit at the hospital), but I can live with that.

Honestly I can and I have.

Because I do have enough faith to know and believe in myself.

And enough faith to know that no matter how long it takes to get there...

I will get there on my own accord.

2 Minutes...

Its Thursday...almost Friday...which means its probably a good day. Getting up this morning was good and I was well rested and ready for my day. I figured it would be a good day.

And yet I got to work today, was there 2 minutes and barely got myself checked in on the in/out board, when I met with my first ridiculous co-worker encounter of the day.

Its a co-worker I dont like at all...one of those "therapists." See previous post.

So after I had been condescended to and basically told how to do my job, I forcibly placed a smile on my face and did NOT tell her to kiss my ass.

But oh it was tempting...

Surrounded by Neuroticism

So I'm a therapist by trade. Which means that I spend most of the day shaking my head, bored out of ever loving mind, and wondering how the hell I can possibly help these people when I dont practice what I preach and can barely take care of myself.

At least that is the stereotype that non-therapists hold about therapists.

I do spend much of the day shaking my head...but not at clients unless they do something really friggin bizarre.

But the mentally ill and addicted do really bizarre things all the time so most of the time its nothing really out of the ordinary.

But it does catch one's attention when its really "special." Like they made an effort to really display how fucked up they are in the head.

No we actually spend most of the time shaking our heads at the system....the system that bogs us down with paperwork, guidelines and laws....the same system of course that we are also entwined into and get paid by eventually. What the system doesn't quite understand is that having my client's file well put together and the paperwork well maintained is that it doesn't usually solve their incredible craving for Percs and booze, or their inability to handle their depression and sexual thoughts.

As for the whole bored thing?

Never. Its literally quite impossible with all of the crap I absorb everyday.

What about the whole practing what I preach/walking the talk bullshit??

Totally fucking TRUE...

Some of the time...

But this is my calling and I accept it. Calling...yeah right.

I have this calling due to my 100k debt from getting myself educated enough so I can shake my head at people, be bored at my job and preach but not walk.

More like a calling from my fucking monthly bank statement...

Fuck. That. Shit.

There are a couple of interesting things about therapists. One is they never "turn off" the fucking therapist.

All damn day even when their on lunch and off the clock, they are "on."

Sitting in the breakroom, when everybody is enjoying their Lean Cuisines and moldy oranges and decaffinated water, they're analyzing...pondering...questioning...commenting. On everybody else's comments, jokes, life stories and what their ingesting that day.

They look at every little comment, nuance, joke, cuss word, fart, sideways look and message in their raspberry flavored green tea leaves and see that somehow, somewhere in that nuance or fart that there is a "problem."

A problem that has to be fixed.

I actually think most people are pretty healthy. Most people have a good family, support system, friends, a job they like, enough money for their wants and needs, enough leisure time...etc etc etc. Most people got their shit figured out.

Of course therapists...they never look at their own problems. Oh no no no..that just wouldnt do.

Unless of course they are those wicked even smaaater therapists that have "done their own work."

Fuck. That. Shit.

Or they think they are immune to the problems their clients are experiencing in their life because they have "all the tools," "all the info," "all the brains."

More like shit for brains...

Worse yet, aside from therapizing their own co-workers when they're trying to enjoy their lunch, they go home and therapize their partners/kids/parents/family dog/neighbor's cat.

Like hellooo.....doing therapy in any capacity with someone you know is against ethical standards...uhhh dual relationship anybody???

So I propose a guidebook...something for therapists...oh how about a code? Thats a pretty word...a code that talks about how one should conduct themselves in a normal social setting that covers the following:

Thou shalt not therapize your co-workers when off the clock...or hell EVER...shut the hell up and mind your own damn business.

Thou shalt not interject your therapeutic analysis into every possible thing. Sometimes shit isnt always that deep.

Thou shalt not speak in therapy terms more than 75% of the time when at work...the other 25% is when you arent interacting with clients or your boss so fucking let loose for once.

Thou shalt not analyze the dog's farts.

Thou shalt not therapize any member of your family, immediate social circle or distance social circle. You may only do therapy with clients. And if you know the poor bastard, because christ-almighty they are really fucked up if they know you on a personal level, do the ethical thing and get them re-assigned.

See the thing is...we all have issues right? I have no doubt that issues exist within the human race and myself. However issues dont necessarily mean "problems." Maybe you crack jokes about your hubby, maybe you have an uncle you dont like very much. Perhaps your mother is overbearing or you think your ass could easily support a platter of assorted cookies. Maybe you have a semi-monthly argument about the recycleing with your husband.

Whatever...the point is, it doesnt mean you have some underlying deep issue going back to your childhood when you didnt learn to wipe your ass properly.

So when I crack a joke...its because I like jokes. And when I make a smart-ass comment...its because I really am a smart ass.

If I ever assume that every person who has issues automatically has "problems..."

I'll probably kick my own ass...


By the way...I think I have the title to my first book...

Neglectful Blogger...

I'm lame.

That is all I have to say about that.

Hmmm lets see...I've been thinking about shutting this blog down. I barely update it.

Then I read back on the archives and am slightly amused at my musings.

So maybe I'll keep it up longer.

Life is busy, thus the lack of blogging content...not because I have nothing to write about, just no time to write.

DH and I are house hunting. We hope to have something by the end of the year. Its pretty much the most ridiculously detailed major purchase we'll ever make and its slightly overwhelming some days and underwhelming other days.

Can you be just whelmed??

I'm navigating baby fever. We'll see how much I write about THAT juicy little tidbit.

NO I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!

LOL

Canada is the same...nothing new, just falling down the economy rabbit hole like the States.

I'm working full time now and really hope I can stay beyond March. I really enjoy my work, but its hard not to have the savior complex when people's lives are actually on the line everyday.

I miss everybody, hope I can see some friends this year :)

Will try to get more vigilant about this blogging business. For now, enjoy Pink's video...normally I dont care for her, but I dig some of her stuff...this song is one of my favorites.

Ta-ta for now! :)