Planes, Snow, Hockey, Poutine, En Francais, and Beer

Well I'm back after a fabulous weekend in Northern Ontario. My flights into his hometown went well and on time and I was greeted and picked up by his mom and grand ma-mere. It was like I was never away. They had snow!! Chicago doesnt have snow yet so it felt like winter up there. We got to his house and his other grand ma-mere showed up and an aunt so we sat around, drank wine and had girl talk. They are so fantastic, so welcoming. Then the rest of the family showed up for dinner. More aunts and cousins.

His mom made an "American Thanksgiving." It wasn't turkey dinner but other foods like perogies, caesar salad, crab, shrimp, wings and other stuff. His one aunt brought over an "American" cake which was an American flag and a weiner dog dressed up as Uncle Sam. It was a great dinner. Later Rumba and I had a good laugh over the movie Napoleon Dynamite.

Thursday, Rumba had school so I stayed home and watched football and worked on my paper. His 2nd brother was home also so we hung out together. I think I got on his good side after I taught him how to make a new drink. hahaa!! Later Rumba and I cuddled up and watched Batman Begins.

Friday we went shopping and wandered around town for the afternoon. Later we went to an OHL game and his home team won. It was an exciting game. CanadiEn fans are insane. I was so happy to watch hockey again. After that game we drove an hour to a small town so that Rumba could play in a family tournament. The tournament is just a bunch of amateur guys, usually family members and they play a round robin tournament. Rumba's team is made up of all family...2nd and 3rd cousins of all ages coming together to play for their name. All the wives and girlfriends and mothers sit in the stands to cheer on the men. Lots of beer and food. I was introduced to poutine which is a gravy and cheese mixture that they pour on french fries. They all looked at me like I was crazy when I said I used ranch dressing on my fries. It was really cool experience, the fans welcomed me in no problem.

Saturday we went back to the tournament for 2 more games. The games got pretty vicious. It was amazing to me to see how dirty they were in their play. Rumba said thats not a normal thing with the amateurs and that usually everybody just has a good time. But there was lots of beer and good small town fans and it was a great atmosphere. Lots of French flying around too. Truly, if you can see a CanadiEn game, any level or age, and be amongst the fans, do it. Its a totally different experience from American hockey. Between games we went to one of the cousins ranch for dinner and beer. After the last game the party started at the ranch. About 25 of us drinking beer, wine and whiskey, playing poker, karoke and having a good time. Rumba and I went into the house at 4am. A few didn't get in until 7am. The house looked like a refugee camp with everybody passed out and sleeping in every direction. I had a lot of wine, felt a little icky after but didn't get sick or a hangover. Another game at noon on Sunday. We lost that one in a shootout so our team was out of the tourney. We won the first 3 games though and it was a lot of fun.

I was supposed to leave on Monday but my flight was canceled due to really bad fog. The planes were circling above the runways but couldn't land and had to fly back to Toronto. So I stayed an extra day, woooo hoooo, and came back today instead. My flight into Toronto was really bumpy, lots of turbulence. The flight into Chicago wasn't too bad but it was still bumpy and uncomfortable. I hate flying, I hate it, I hate it. I was so glad to be on the ground.

It was a fantastic weekend. Lots of family and hockey and meeting new people. And of course, lots of quality time with Rumba. Now we only have 3 weeks until our next meeting!!! So much better than 4 months. We have to start planning now for the stuff we want to do while he is in Chicago.

I hope ya'll had a safe (wowza weather) and good Thanksgiving. I miss you!!

Quebec vs...well Canada...

My man is from Ontario. So he is a Joe CanadiEn.
CanadiEn culture can be summed up in a beer commercial and its satirical twin:

Joe CanadiEn Rant: http://www.coolcanuckaward.ca/joe_canadian.htm

Hey.
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader, and I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dog sled, and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, although I'm certain they're really, really nice.
I have a Prime Minister, not a President. I speak English and French, not American, and I pronounce it 'about', not 'a boot'.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peacekeeping, not policing; diversity, not assimilation;
and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.
A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch, and it is pronounced zed: not zee – zed!!
Canada is the second largest land mass!
The first nation of hockey! And the best part of North America!
My name is Joe!! And I am Canadian!
... Thank you.


I Am Not Canadien Rant (from Quebec): http://mono144.tripod.com

I'm not unemployed, or smuggling cigarettes across the border.
I don't eat Pepsi and May Wests for breakfast.
I don't watch the hockey game doin it doggy style
And non, I don't know Claude, Manon or François in Abitibi - Témiscamingue
but I'm sure dey all 'ave nice teeth.
I smoke in church.
I speak Québécois and Joual; not French or h'English[sic];
and I pronounce it 'turd', not 'third'.
And eating french fries with cheese makes sense, mon esti;
I believe in distinct society– as long as someone else pays for it.
I believe in language police, not equal rights.
And, calice, I believe that "Club Super Sexe" is an appropriate place
for my wife and me to celebrate our anniversaire!
What da hell, she goes on at ten, anyway!
In Québec, the Stanley Cup actually comes round more often than Halley's Comet.
I can get beer at the dépanneur not at the convenience store.
And maybe I can't turn right on a red light, but, tabarnac, I can go right through it!
Because Québec is the world's largest producer of maple syrup,
the 'ome of Céline Dion and Roch Voisine;
The land where everybody is shackin' up, and the legal drinking age is just a suggestion.
Je m'appelle Guy - and I am not Canadian. (Mautadit tabarnac esti...)
Merci salut la visite!

Ahem...ahemina hem..."Oooo Canada"

Yes the big trip to the Great North has arrived and we are so excited. If you could hear our discussions you would want to hurl and plug your ears. We're really mushy on an almost daily basis because we are not together to do it or show it. So we're just a big ol pile of gushy sweetness smothered in love...its just...awesome.

But we haven't been together since July 5th so its warranted in my opinion. If we weren't gushy and sugary sweet to each other, it would be really hard to survive the distance. Oh we fight too. We did that even before we became a couple. Fighting long distance is even harder than showing your love and affection for each other. I don't know how to explain why. He can tell my mood while we're online so its not a matter of miscommunication or misreading. I can't explain it so I won't try but if you've evern been away from your significant other for a long period of time, you'll understand.

I have to be to the airport at 430am...daaamn...and I'll arrive at my destination at 130pm. He'll be in school so his mom is picking me up from the airport. After which I'm going to go home and crawl into his bed for a good nap until he gets home from school. His family is having an "American Thanksgiving" (CanadiEn's celebrate T-day in October) while I'm there too since I won't be with my own family over the holiday. How sweet is that? They are such good people.

J'aime mon CanadiEn!!!

Au revoir mes amies!!

Million Man Mag Mile March

Yesterday was the official start to the Chicago holiday season with the lighting of the Magnificent Mile or Michigan Avenue. Unfortunately, I was working but Linda and I went down to the street to stand amongst the people, hoping to catch a glimpse of the parade. Before the parade starts, the whole Mile goes dark. Then Mickey Mouse leads the way, pointing his wand at store fronts and the trees and they shine in Christmas lights and decor. The parade starts at the famous Oak Street (Prada, Gucci, Barneys, Lester Lampert) and goes down to Wacker Drive at the Chicago River. From there, fireworks are lit over the river and Wrigley Building. I did not get to see Mickey light my block of the Mile but I stood amongst the millions of people that were down there. Yes..millions. How cool is that?!

Pretty Name

Your Hawaiian Name is:

Leilani Kaili

What's" your Hawaiian Name?

I actually want one of my children to have that first name, its so pretty. My kids will probably have French names though since his last name is French.

Woman of Bad Timing

Seriously I think I am either really delayed or really ahead of things but I'm never right with it. Good lord, I've had 4...count em...4 months to experiment with my hair color and I choose 6 days before seeing Rumba as the day I'm gonna give it a whirl.

I DO know how to dye my hair so that isn't the issue. Its just that I haven't done it for 2 years so picking a color was the challenge. I did not want to stray too far from my brunette hotness but I wanted to spice up what I call mouse brown hair. It looks like that rat I saw near the Red Line a few weeks ago..

Anyways...so I was aiming for a touch of red which I did have in my hair the last time I dyed my hair. Well...its red alright...I'm hoping its the really craptacular flourescent lights in my bathroom that is giving it a weird color. As I inspect it in the soft glow of a regular light it doesn't seem so bad. Since its dark out I can't run outside to see what it looks like in natural light. It is a totally different color from my natural though so if he doesn't notice I'll kick his ass.

Ah well, as I always say...its just hair. It'll grow out. Or it will grow on me.

And I shaved my legs last night too. Woo for me. Through this experiment I now have figured that I prefer shaved legs. For some reason, it makes my legs appear thin. At least I have the timing figured out on this one instead of getting up there with furry legs. Oh well..he's CanadiEn...maybe they dig chicks with furry legs...ewww...

And I am on the downward swing with school. YAY!!! I have one major paper left and otherwise its all tests from here on out. I can handle tests especially since I've been doing well on all them thus far.

First Snow and Pretty Skyline

It snowed today! And the winds were 50 mph but it was awesome. I love winter. The snow didn't stick, just kinda blew around but it was snow!!! Of course in the city, the snow won't stay white...it'll be brown immediately because its so dirty and there is so much traffic.

My classes go until 5pm and with the time falling back, it gets pretty much dark by 5. Tonight I was walking home and looked back at the Sear Tower and it was all lit up really pretty. Stood out against the dark wintery sky. The Chicago skyline is incredible. The first night I arrived in Chicago in August we got here at around 8:30pm. It was a beautiful sight to drive on the Ike into downtown Chicago.

And in case anyone wants to know...the winds in Chicago are very similar to the winds at home. Its not such a shock to me to walk out into the cold weather here. I giggle silently to myself when people get up in arms over 45 degree weather. Yeah its a bit nippy but its not the worst thing in the world.

Well I'm off. Im trying not to get sick and I think Im succeeding!!

It snowed today!!!

Black Is The New....Black...

Everybody wears black in this town. I wear black pants everyday but its not often I'm covered head to toe in black. I was on the bus today and most everyone had a black winter jacket. I was wearing my bright red, white and gray jacket and I'm sitting here thinking, " Isn't the long cold winter depressing enough that you all have to enhance your misery by wearing black?" So I wear my red, loud and proud...at least my winter will be cheery.

Speaking of black, there are a lot of people in this world that are really cruel and black in their souls. I'm doing a presentation on Karla Homolka tomorrow. This woman is as black as it comes. Google her...she's a fascinatinng person.

Banks in Chicago don't carry foreign currency!! Whats the deal!?! Even banks in NoDak have all the world's currency. Sheesh...so now I have to find a currency exchange before my trip next week. Bugger.

I am so beyond excited to see Rumba next week. It has been way too long since our last time together. We are definitely going to use our time wisely.

I hope ya'll are doing well!! :D

Please Extract Your Head From Your Ass

...So that all our lives can run smoother.

I wanted to smack the hell out of this girl I work with today. I'm too old to work with 18 year olds...they just piss me off to no end. There were 5 people on shift today and I did triple the work of the other 4. I had twice the sales on my drawer, and folded twice the shirts and was doing circles around the other girl at cashier. I had 6 shirts folded to her ONE sweatshirt and I waited on 5 customers at the same time. Daaamn people, start shakin would ya??

The holidays are upon us so the shoppers are out in full force. The city is starting to get really pretty with the christmas decor and lights. I finished shopping for Rumba yesterday. Now its on to everybody else.

After this week, I think school will be breathable again. I have two papers and a presentation this week and its smooth sailing for the rest of the semester. I'm passing everything so far so I'm not worried. Woo hoo!

I've been up way too late this week, 1-3am. I need to get to bed at a decent hour so I don't get sick. I'm feeling pretty good though and am really looking forward to my trip to Ontario over Thanksgiving!! :D

Nighty night :)

Bandura and Watson and Miss Lou

Bandura is a Leo (haaaa!), enjoys playing with feet, eating knibblers, snoozing in the sun and is obsessed with The Daily Show.

Watson is a Scorpio, more of an Anderson Cooper fan, like sniffing out the grass, bouncing up and down 3 times and then spinning around til he pukes, much like the way he enjoys revolving doors.

So I chatted with my roomie, Miss Lou, this eve and I realized how much I miss her. She's the most amazing person anyone would be graced to meet. She has such an intense yet free spirit about her. You can't help but laugh at her antics and be moved by her seriousness. I remember the time we actually became good friends. I think she asked for a ride home from band practice in the Beast...haaaa...everybody loves the Beast. And then it just sort of happened from there. I think the whole 52 in 100 on a bus pretty much cemented it though.

We survived and thrived through a lot of stuff together in our years. Breakups and dumb boys, the subsequent chase into even more dumb boys, letting a strange freshman crash on our floor during the Bama trip and then becoming his friend..wowza, whoda thunk it? A summer of biking around El Forko Grande, the roomie that moved her furniture with the phases of the moon, driving around Swanies parking lot 10 times just to shake our heads to Bohemian Rhapsody. The early Saturday mornings at the Alerus, the long cold walks to the Ralph, shakin it to the drums, and going back for more the following week. The band trips and the good times with the geeks and sitting at the very top of the Bisondome. Eating oreos and cheetos and drinking wine while feeling sorry for ourselves, watching scary movies and getting freaked out, writing 'books' on how the world really is and how we would run it if by a no chance in hell and really good luck we ever got to run the world. Eating off a microwave box and living in ant farm with a penis tree, swooning over new boys and bemoaning them when they ran away from our charm. Dreaming of exacting our revenge on the sex fiends above us with the big rumbly trucks using the Valley's finest crop. Many a night at Tabula, taking in the cute guitar players and yes...even buying their really crappy cd's. Spinach dip and salad at the Moose, driving in circles around town, getting so lost we end up in Duluth and shakin it down at the Rock. Trying to figure out exactly what is the thing with the things and the thingys. Late night study fests, or procrastination periods. Sporks and asses and whippy shitty drunkeness. Dave at Alpine and U-eys in downtown Chicago. Going to Walmart at midnight for a tool to get the damn hamster out from under the dishwasher, oh RIP Gerdie, the CanadiEn invasion, gradumatation and moving on to the big city life. Many laughs, many tears, many memories.

She's the kind of friend you know you can get good shoe advice, make sure you don't drunk call your ex, share a Bend and Jerry's, and have long talks about everything and nothing at the same time.

I think we all need a friend that sticks it through, loves you no matter what and inspires you. Miss Lou is mine. She's definitely been there for me when nobody else has been and she continues to be even though we're no longer in the same zip code. Its in her spirit to love with all her heart which seems endless to those that know her best. She inspires me to be a better person in so many ways just because she can and doesn't even know she does.

Love ya ma'am :)

Rain and Sioux Loss

So it rained all day today. Reason #1 I am crabby.

And the Sioux football team blew the game out their ass...Reason #2 I am crabby.

And the Sioux hockey team...well I don't think they showed up tonight at all...Reason #3 I am crabby.

I'm just crabby...

And so when I get like this I lose sight of everything and get really pessimistic about a lot of stuff. So I guess this will be really random but in the end, it all sort of ties together I imagine. This is cathartic for me because once I get it out, I usually feel better. I am one of those people that really hide a lot of stuff, mostly because I think public display of neuroticism is counter productve and a waste of time and because most people don't understand anyways.

I feel like a slug for sitting all day and doing nothing but work on my paper. No wonder I am overweight, I don't move. I could have gone for a walk in the rain or something but no...I took the easier route and just sat here and stared at my computer screen all day.

I'm seeing Rumba in 17 days and part of me is really excited because I miss him sooo much and the other part of me is dreading it. Mostly because I am not happy with my appearance...sigh..it all comes back to my fat ass. I know he doesn't care, but its my own confidence that holds me back.

I wish we could see each other more often than every 4 months. I really envy those people that see their SO's every day or almost every day. I don't think they really know how lucky they are.

I would like to walk outside after dark and not be afraid of someone attacking me.

I would like to keep my shades open instead of hiding from the masturbating jackass across the way.

I wish I had about 5 feet more space in my apartment.

I miss my family.

I wish my sister would talk honestly to people instead of hide behind lies.

I wish my grandfather never got cancer. I wish he didn't have to feel like shit to feel better.

I'm sick of fire truck sirens.

I wish my boss wasn't a nutcase.

I wish I wasn't a nutcase.

Currently Spinning...

Dance, Dance--Fall Out Boy
Just a fun song

Dare--Gorillaz
Their videos are brilliant

Shake It Off--Mariah Carey
Normally not at all a Mariah Fan but I dig this song.

Helena--My Chemical Romance
Love the video

The Hand That Feeds--NIN
Trent Reznor got really hot for this video....great bass line and synthesizer

When We Make Love--Ginuwine
Its just a horny man, but I dig his music

Feel Good Inc.--Gorillaz
Again great video

Dreamgirl--Dave Matthews Band
I'm always spinning Dave...this isn't a shocker

Right Here--Stained
Something about a sullen, soulful guitar player

Come A Little Closer--Dierks Bentley
I don't normally like Mr. Bentley, but for this tune, I make an exception. Its just dirty!!

You and Me--Lifehouse
First time Rumba sent this to me, I damn near cried..very sweet tune.

La Tortura--Shakira
Have you seen this video? Shakira is HOT and I wanna learn that shimmy thing she does.

Best Of You--Foo Fighters
Classic Foo Fighters

Bad Day--Daniel Powter
Reminds me of Rumba's dad singing it out loud...definitely suitable some days though.

Take Your Mama--Scissor Sisters
Gay pride at its best, and the lead sounds so much like Elton John

Be My Escape--Relient K
Good band overall

Beverly Hills--Weezer
Who else but Weezer pays homage to the Hef in their videos??

Filthy Gorgeous--Scissor Sisters
Fun, upbeat, makes you think of a drag show

Lose Control--Missy Elliot
Great dance tune

Stay With Me--Josh Gracin
Don't really like Josh much, but this is a good tune.

Going To A Go Go--Smokey Robinson
Who doesn't like Smokey?!

Obsession-Frankie J
Another horny man, but who gives a damn..its a sweet tune.

Love Me Tender--Elvis Presley
Aaahh Elvis...

Do You Like It--Our Lady Peace
Mmmm CanadiEns....

Nationwide Epidemic...My Personal Struggle

The US is fat. Obesity rates have risen dramatically in the last 30 years due to the foods we consume, the lack of exercise, fad diets, and the increasing social attitude and pressure that "thin is the best."

I haven't been thin since before puberty. My family and extended family is predisposed to overweight, big boned people. None of us are supermodel thin and almost all of us have struggled with our weight. My mother has been through a lot of ups and downs with her own weight and watching this as I was growing up, I really did not want my body and my body image to take over my life.

Almost 6 years ago I was in an unhealthy relationship and gained a lot of weight as a result of depression and social isolation. Thank God I ended that situation but I haven't lost or done anything about my weight problem. I just accepted it as a part of getting older, changing body in the 20's and college years and still never really saw myself as overweight.

In the last year, it has defintely become apparent that I have a problem. I am not healthy and I know this. I do not like the way my clothing fits, I dread clothes shopping. I find many cute clothing items and the stores that are for my particular age group are all geard toward the skinny, fit woman. Instead of celebrating my body like I have in the past, I am hiding it more and more. I have an athletic, fit boyfriend who loves me no matter what, but its still a factor in my want to be in better shape.

I do not eat garbage food. I just eat too much when I do eat. I have a strong phobia of public gyms and I do not have the financial means to have a membership at a health club, even if I wanted it. Plus it seems so out of reach that I could be thin and fit again.

I have a desire to be more fit and in shape because I am tired of being disillusioned about my figure and then hitting an extreme low when I come to the realization that I am fat...

So I didn't do it today and I've said I'll do it before. But I think that obesity is like alcoholism...its an addiction but in a different way and it can be dealt with in the same manner as alcoholics treat themselves. When alcoholics are working on sobriety, they say "I'm sober today." Maybe the fat person I am can say, "I'm thin today. If I fall off tomorrow, I can still climb back on."

I'm thin today.

Watching Suicide

Today in my clinical interviewing class the teacher brought in tapes of the after effects of people committing suicide. I did not see the value in this before class and I don't see the value in it now. It was gratuitous violence, one of those tapes of "Forbidden in America" or "Faces of Death." The teacher showed them doing a forensic analysis of the bodies and then one tape showed someone jumping off a building and then a closeup of the body. The teacher claimed that it was to show what could happen if clinicians (like we all will be) don't take suicide ideation or thoughts seriously and that we could get our license pulled, yada yada yada. I don't need to see a body to know that suicide is a serious deal. It wasn't a video on a clinician doing an interview, doing the wrong things and then the client going out and comitting suicide. It was just...blatant violence for the 'sexiness' of violence.

Now I don't get grossed out by gore, I was just disturbed that I was forced to watch this when I saw no value in it at all. Its the same kind of disturbed feelings I had watching the people from the World Trade Center jump and hear the noise when they hit the ground. For personal reasons, I couldn't even watch the woman jump from the building and I couldn't watch the footage of her battered and broken body on the street below. We continued to talk about suicide after the video and I damn near started crying. I have never been so distressed in my life.

I've been in the middle of a suicide attempt by a 14 year old girl I was supervising. I had to deal with the police and mental health doctors, calling my partner back from an activity, the after effects with a houseful of kids, do reports, send this child to the 3rd floor. I didn't sleep for 3 days, had nightmares for 2 weeks, I had to evaluate my performance under crisis, and I found God again. That entire experience was way more valuable to me than any bloody video.

Clearly, my field is not a pretty field and I will be dealing with the absolute extremes of humanity. I accept that fact. But I do not accept gratuitous display of human suffering and despair.

Of Exams and Anxiety

Had my second midterm exam today and I was not all that worried about it. I've taken this material twice before and I just felt like it was all a big review. But...

Everybody else was seriously wiggin out over this exam. I mean really really up in arms and nervous about it. They were all so intimidated by the 11 chapters of material that they over focused themselves on so much of the material instead of taking a more general sense.

I saw one of my classmates with typed note cards and her friends were trying to get her to stop before the test...she didn't until she got the test in her hand. She was tapping her pen, fidgety, swinging her legs. I couldn't believe how anxious this girl was over this exam.

As I suspected (and of course this is all subjective), the test was not bad at all. I was really happy with the way I did on it and I expect to have a high grade for it.

I'm not sure why everybody gets so anxious over tests. I've never been one to let an exam get the best of me. I'm not sure if thats the right attitude to have since the majority of people get so anxious over exams, but it sure makes my life easier.

I'm tired and worn out. I would like to have a day to sleep in please. My sunday was blown because of a meeting. So now I'm just in a haze.

More reading to do...night ya'll! :)