Watching Suicide

Today in my clinical interviewing class the teacher brought in tapes of the after effects of people committing suicide. I did not see the value in this before class and I don't see the value in it now. It was gratuitous violence, one of those tapes of "Forbidden in America" or "Faces of Death." The teacher showed them doing a forensic analysis of the bodies and then one tape showed someone jumping off a building and then a closeup of the body. The teacher claimed that it was to show what could happen if clinicians (like we all will be) don't take suicide ideation or thoughts seriously and that we could get our license pulled, yada yada yada. I don't need to see a body to know that suicide is a serious deal. It wasn't a video on a clinician doing an interview, doing the wrong things and then the client going out and comitting suicide. It was just...blatant violence for the 'sexiness' of violence.

Now I don't get grossed out by gore, I was just disturbed that I was forced to watch this when I saw no value in it at all. Its the same kind of disturbed feelings I had watching the people from the World Trade Center jump and hear the noise when they hit the ground. For personal reasons, I couldn't even watch the woman jump from the building and I couldn't watch the footage of her battered and broken body on the street below. We continued to talk about suicide after the video and I damn near started crying. I have never been so distressed in my life.

I've been in the middle of a suicide attempt by a 14 year old girl I was supervising. I had to deal with the police and mental health doctors, calling my partner back from an activity, the after effects with a houseful of kids, do reports, send this child to the 3rd floor. I didn't sleep for 3 days, had nightmares for 2 weeks, I had to evaluate my performance under crisis, and I found God again. That entire experience was way more valuable to me than any bloody video.

Clearly, my field is not a pretty field and I will be dealing with the absolute extremes of humanity. I accept that fact. But I do not accept gratuitous display of human suffering and despair.