Quebec vs...well Canada...

My man is from Ontario. So he is a Joe CanadiEn.
CanadiEn culture can be summed up in a beer commercial and its satirical twin:

Joe CanadiEn Rant: http://www.coolcanuckaward.ca/joe_canadian.htm

Hey.
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader, and I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dog sled, and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, although I'm certain they're really, really nice.
I have a Prime Minister, not a President. I speak English and French, not American, and I pronounce it 'about', not 'a boot'.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peacekeeping, not policing; diversity, not assimilation;
and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.
A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch, and it is pronounced zed: not zee – zed!!
Canada is the second largest land mass!
The first nation of hockey! And the best part of North America!
My name is Joe!! And I am Canadian!
... Thank you.


I Am Not Canadien Rant (from Quebec): http://mono144.tripod.com

I'm not unemployed, or smuggling cigarettes across the border.
I don't eat Pepsi and May Wests for breakfast.
I don't watch the hockey game doin it doggy style
And non, I don't know Claude, Manon or François in Abitibi - Témiscamingue
but I'm sure dey all 'ave nice teeth.
I smoke in church.
I speak Québécois and Joual; not French or h'English[sic];
and I pronounce it 'turd', not 'third'.
And eating french fries with cheese makes sense, mon esti;
I believe in distinct society– as long as someone else pays for it.
I believe in language police, not equal rights.
And, calice, I believe that "Club Super Sexe" is an appropriate place
for my wife and me to celebrate our anniversaire!
What da hell, she goes on at ten, anyway!
In Québec, the Stanley Cup actually comes round more often than Halley's Comet.
I can get beer at the dépanneur not at the convenience store.
And maybe I can't turn right on a red light, but, tabarnac, I can go right through it!
Because Québec is the world's largest producer of maple syrup,
the 'ome of Céline Dion and Roch Voisine;
The land where everybody is shackin' up, and the legal drinking age is just a suggestion.
Je m'appelle Guy - and I am not Canadian. (Mautadit tabarnac esti...)
Merci salut la visite!