Ah long time, no write. Lets see...took a 14 hour train ride home to NoDak. Em got picked up in Miller town and we rode the train together. We sat in the lounge car most of the night, watching movies and chatting. Made the ride go faster having someone to talk to and hang out. In Minny, a bunch of drunk Vikings (losing team) fans got on the train so we got to listen to that for a few hours...highly amusing. We made a few "train friends" along the way...they were good guys.
Got into NoDak around 540 am..dragged my dad out of bed to come get me...he was so growly he didnt even give me a hug!! hahaa!! Then it was a good week of hanging out at home, seeing friends and eating good meals. We drove to my grandma's on Saturday and had Christmas Eve with my mom's side. Wild night...20 people, 4 small children under the age of 4 all screaming and hollering and crying...aahh, good times. Christmas Day was spent at the farm with my dad's side. It was great to see my grandparents again. Grandpa looks really good after he quit the chemo and he's getting some of his hair back. My psycho aunt was there...made for an interesting, tension filled afternoon (we haven't seen her in 3 years) so yeah...we survived anyhow, albeit very diffcult.
Took the train back to Chicago...a long 17 hours. Got back in before Rumba called so I took all my shit back to my apartment and waited for his call. His flight was a half hour late and he lost a piece of his luggage!! Damn Air Canada!!! So he was messing around with that. We met at a Blue Line station here in downtown...ah it was so good to see him again. Came back here, went grocery shopping, ordered pizza and exchanged gifts. My honey did good; unfortunately, my 'big gift' was in the other piece of luggage....sooo hopefully it shows up soon.
On Tuesday we went to the Field Museum for the day. Really cool museum, kinda spendy but we spent the whole day there so it was worth it I think. Wandered around downtown and came back for dinner.
On Wednesday we slept in way late and went to a Chicago Blackhawks game. They were playing the St Louis Blues. I had never been to a pro hockey game before so it was loads of fun..great to be amongst hockey fans again. They lost 2-1 which was unfortunate because the Blues are at the bottom of the league this year, but it was still a good time.
After the game, we were walking from one bus to another when I stumbled off the curb in front of the Daley Plaza and fell. Didn't see that it was a curved sidewalk. Sprained my ankle and landed on my knees. Scrapped the shit out of my knees and my ankle was swelled up to a baseball. I didn't break it thank god; the swelling has gone down, but its really black and blue and my knees are scrapped open. So Rumba has been a good man to me; he carried me back to my apartment, got me iced up and comfortable and has been helping me around the apartment. Today he made lunch, washed the dishes and went to the pharmacy to get me a bandage. He hasn't complained about sitting around all day while I rest and stay off my feet. Ah, thats love..what a good feeling.
So now the rest of our week is up in the air...we had plans but now that I am not very mobile, they might be changing. We were going to go dancing on NYE but well...more like hobbling now. ;) We'll survive. Its wonderful having him here with me, thats all that matters right now.
An injured but happy Tiger.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Year 2005
*JANUARY*
1. Did you have a new year's resolution this year? No
2. Who kissed you at midnight? Didn't have a kiss at midnight
3. Have you ever been to times square to watch the ball drop? No, but I would like to someday.
*FEBRUARY*
1. Who was your valentine? The Killers
2. What did your valentine get you? I bought myself the Killers cd
3. When you were little, did you buy valentines for your whole class? Yeah and it was a huge project to make the valentines boxes...one year I had a piano and another year I had a Snoopy doghouse. My two favorites for sure.
*MARCH*
1. Are you Irish? Yes on my mom's side
2. Did you wear green on st. patty's day? Yes
3. What did you do for st. patty's day? Deciding if I should go to DC or Chicago
*APRIL*
1. Do you like the rain? Yes, love it.
2. Did you play an april fool's joke on anyone this year? No
3. Did you get tons of candy on easter? I always buy the Hershey's Eggs for about 2 months...mmm chocolate...they're like great big m & m's
*MAY*
1. What's your favorite kind of flower? Stargazer lilies and roses
2. Finish the phrase: april showers bring may flowers, what do may showers bring? floods
3. What would you think of as a spring color? green
*JUNE*
1. What year did you graduate from school? 2000, 2004
2. Did you go on any vacations last June? Yes I went to Chicago and Ontario
*JULY*
1. What did you do on the 4th of July? I was in Canada watching the fireworks on TV
2. Did you go on any vacations during this month? Yes I was in Canada for the first part and then Em, Nelle and I went to Dave in Wisconsin...woo road trip!
*AUGUST*
1. Did you do anything special to end off your summer? I moved to Chicago
2. What was your favorite summer memory of '05? My trip to Ontario to meet the Fam and the Dave Matthews Band Bitchin Road Trip 2005.
3. Did you go to the beach a lot? Just when I was in Ontario at the lake there...not really a beach.
*SEPTEMBER*
1. Did you attend school/college in '05? Yes I started my first semester of graduate school.
2. Who is/was your favorite teacher? I've had so many...probably Robert in college, Mr. Mord in high school. I have many favorites.
3. Did you like fall better than summer? I don't think I've ever experienced a "fall" until I moved to Chicago as NoDak usually goes right from summer to winter...but Chicago's fall was nice overall.
*OCTOBER*
1. What was your favorite halloween costume ever? Pippi Longstocking
2. What's your favorite candy? M & M's...duh ;)
3. What did you dress up like this year? An overworked grad student studying for midterms
*NOVEMBER*
1. Whose house did you go to for thanksgiving? Ontario with Rumba's family
2. Do you like stuffing? Yuck!!
3. What are you thankful for? My family, Rumba and his family, my friends, my success in school so far.
*DECEMBER*
1. Do you celebrate christmas? Yes
2. Have you ever been kissed under a mistletoe? No
3. What do you want this year for christmas? I don't have anything special on my list this year. I get to spend the New Year with the CanadiEn and thats good enough for me.
4. What's the best present you ever got for christmas? Hard to decide
5. Do you like cold weather? Yes I do, I very seldom complain when its winter and cold.
*OVERALL*1. How would you rate your year? Oh gosh..a good man, lots of decisions, changes, moving, learning about life, the importance of family and successes and frustrations all along the way...I give it a 9.
**Thanks Liz**
1. Did you have a new year's resolution this year? No
2. Who kissed you at midnight? Didn't have a kiss at midnight
3. Have you ever been to times square to watch the ball drop? No, but I would like to someday.
*FEBRUARY*
1. Who was your valentine? The Killers
2. What did your valentine get you? I bought myself the Killers cd
3. When you were little, did you buy valentines for your whole class? Yeah and it was a huge project to make the valentines boxes...one year I had a piano and another year I had a Snoopy doghouse. My two favorites for sure.
*MARCH*
1. Are you Irish? Yes on my mom's side
2. Did you wear green on st. patty's day? Yes
3. What did you do for st. patty's day? Deciding if I should go to DC or Chicago
*APRIL*
1. Do you like the rain? Yes, love it.
2. Did you play an april fool's joke on anyone this year? No
3. Did you get tons of candy on easter? I always buy the Hershey's Eggs for about 2 months...mmm chocolate...they're like great big m & m's
*MAY*
1. What's your favorite kind of flower? Stargazer lilies and roses
2. Finish the phrase: april showers bring may flowers, what do may showers bring? floods
3. What would you think of as a spring color? green
*JUNE*
1. What year did you graduate from school? 2000, 2004
2. Did you go on any vacations last June? Yes I went to Chicago and Ontario
*JULY*
1. What did you do on the 4th of July? I was in Canada watching the fireworks on TV
2. Did you go on any vacations during this month? Yes I was in Canada for the first part and then Em, Nelle and I went to Dave in Wisconsin...woo road trip!
*AUGUST*
1. Did you do anything special to end off your summer? I moved to Chicago
2. What was your favorite summer memory of '05? My trip to Ontario to meet the Fam and the Dave Matthews Band Bitchin Road Trip 2005.
3. Did you go to the beach a lot? Just when I was in Ontario at the lake there...not really a beach.
*SEPTEMBER*
1. Did you attend school/college in '05? Yes I started my first semester of graduate school.
2. Who is/was your favorite teacher? I've had so many...probably Robert in college, Mr. Mord in high school. I have many favorites.
3. Did you like fall better than summer? I don't think I've ever experienced a "fall" until I moved to Chicago as NoDak usually goes right from summer to winter...but Chicago's fall was nice overall.
*OCTOBER*
1. What was your favorite halloween costume ever? Pippi Longstocking
2. What's your favorite candy? M & M's...duh ;)
3. What did you dress up like this year? An overworked grad student studying for midterms
*NOVEMBER*
1. Whose house did you go to for thanksgiving? Ontario with Rumba's family
2. Do you like stuffing? Yuck!!
3. What are you thankful for? My family, Rumba and his family, my friends, my success in school so far.
*DECEMBER*
1. Do you celebrate christmas? Yes
2. Have you ever been kissed under a mistletoe? No
3. What do you want this year for christmas? I don't have anything special on my list this year. I get to spend the New Year with the CanadiEn and thats good enough for me.
4. What's the best present you ever got for christmas? Hard to decide
5. Do you like cold weather? Yes I do, I very seldom complain when its winter and cold.
*OVERALL*1. How would you rate your year? Oh gosh..a good man, lots of decisions, changes, moving, learning about life, the importance of family and successes and frustrations all along the way...I give it a 9.
**Thanks Liz**
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Cuz Mama...Mama, I'm Comin Home...
Yes the day has arrived where I will pack up a weeks worth of clothes and Christmas gifties, throw my arm in the air for a cab, stand in line at Amtrak and fight for a forward facing seat and an electricity outlet for my 14 (if on time) hour journey back to the homeland. Woo hoo, I'm really excited. I'm starting to love the City a lot but there is nothing like home and nothing like the country. I never really had an issue with NoDak except that its uber boring at times. But its true that you don't appreciate home until you cant go home for a few months. And there is something to be said for the peace and quiet and tranquil beauty of the country.
I get to go home, eat decent homecooked meals, chat with my mom, cuddle with Gizmo and chase after my little cousins that try to get under the Christmas tree. I get to drive a car and not ride a bus and not worry about bad smells from stinky people (though I'm sure the sugar beets and french fries will make up for it...ahh home). I get to reasonably go on a christmas cookie binge before I really really get down to business and lose 70 lbs in 2006. And really enjoy my break from school and get refreshed for the next semester of work.
If I don't update between now and when I get back to Chicago, I do hope ya'll have a Merry Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hannakuh..whatever you celebrate. Hope Santa brings you good stuff and you have a good time with family and friends. See you all on the flipside.
Ta ta!
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Nipper Candy-Lips
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Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
A Reason To Just Work and Worry Only About Yourself
So I work at a touristy shop that sells shotglasses and Chicago t-shirts and such. Definitely not my life's ambition but for now its very stress free and it allows me to concentrate on school. I work with younger 18-20 year old girls mostly and my boss who is about 35. Today I found out that one of the girls quit.
And she quit because she was boosting merchandise out of the store and the mangers have caught on to her antics. I figure she stole around 500-600 bucks worth of stuff. She was a keyholder and often closed or opened the store so she had the opportunity to do it. As is with any job, there is a lot of gossip and such that runs through the store. I have in my infinite wisdom and working in other high gossip environments learned to keep myself away from it and out of it in any way I can because gossip is like poison: It kills. People often tell me shit but I never repeat it and I don't care enough to remember it later anyways. I think people tell me just because I'm naturally a good listener even though they know I don't like to hear it. So anyhow, this girl was spreading a lot of garbage around about the assistant manager who I get along with very well and trying to get the a.m's job in the process.
I never trusted this girl and told the assistant manager this. And now its all come out about this girl boosting clothes and other stuff out of the store and that she's been spreading lies about everybody and how they work to the manager.
I hate being right.
Gossip is poison folks. Just do what you gotta do to work and go home. Who cares if that makes you less liked than everybody else? At least you'll have a job...and your integrity.
And she quit because she was boosting merchandise out of the store and the mangers have caught on to her antics. I figure she stole around 500-600 bucks worth of stuff. She was a keyholder and often closed or opened the store so she had the opportunity to do it. As is with any job, there is a lot of gossip and such that runs through the store. I have in my infinite wisdom and working in other high gossip environments learned to keep myself away from it and out of it in any way I can because gossip is like poison: It kills. People often tell me shit but I never repeat it and I don't care enough to remember it later anyways. I think people tell me just because I'm naturally a good listener even though they know I don't like to hear it. So anyhow, this girl was spreading a lot of garbage around about the assistant manager who I get along with very well and trying to get the a.m's job in the process.
I never trusted this girl and told the assistant manager this. And now its all come out about this girl boosting clothes and other stuff out of the store and that she's been spreading lies about everybody and how they work to the manager.
I hate being right.
Gossip is poison folks. Just do what you gotta do to work and go home. Who cares if that makes you less liked than everybody else? At least you'll have a job...and your integrity.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Big City Girls
My fabulous friend Emily came down from Milwaukee on Friday!! It was so great to see her again and have a few days of craziness. We went to the new Harry Potter movie...aaah happiness...such a great movie!! And did a bit of window shopping along Michigan Avenue. Then we went to a holiday party at the Embassy my school was hosting. Eh...its the typical holiday party. Lots of schmoozing and people you don't know. There was supposed to be free booze for 2 hours and they cut if off after an hour and half!! We got one stinkin drink because the lines were so long. The drinks were 10 bucks a piece so we didnt get anymore after that first drink!!! Even the soda was 5 bucks. They had a DJ so there was a bit of dancing but he played mostly techno/electronica so that was no good either. All in all, it was nice to get dressed up and have something to do for a few hours. I only knew a handful of my classmates and the rest were people from the other programs. Everbody looked nice..a few were questionably dressed but everybody seemed to be having a good time. Had the alcohol been a little cheaper we would have stayed a bit longer.
The whole night made me think about once again that I am just a humble small town girl and can't live up to the lifestyle that the city demands. The swank clothing and surroundings and cash flow just aint happening and I don't think it ever will. I'm more comfortable in nice but less expensive clothing and my life's ambition isnt necessarily to be "seen" with the pretty folk. Oh well. Me and the CanadiEn will do just fine in the North away from the cities but close enough to visit every now and then.
Em and I might end up on the same train going home so that will be cool too. And we decided that we really miss the Rock despite the scantily clad hosebeasts that hang out there. Its nice to get a beer, or in my case whiseky, for cheap and not pay 25 dollar cover charges. So we're thinking we're going to whoop it up when we get home.
Its so weird being able to relax and not think about classes and reading and papers. I'm ready to go home and see my family and friends too. I didn't realize how lonely it gets here until Emily was here and we went out and did stuff instead of just sitting here.
Well I'm off for more...well nothing really....just going to sit here and doing...nothing!!!
Friday, December 09, 2005
First Semester Is History
Yay! Took my last exam today and everything else is handed in as well. My first semester of graduate school is officially complete. Man it feels good to be down one semester. I'm pretty sure I'll have high passing grades...woo hoo for me.
The next few weeks are pretty exciting too. Emmy Lou is coming to Chicago tomorrow...look out Chi-Town, it could get ugly! I'm really excited, we haven't seen each other since August. We might hit up the school holiday party on Saturday, free booze...yay!! The Sioux play the Gophers this weekend. Might have to find a radio to listen in on the big sweep of them stickin Gophers. I work 3 more shifts and then I get to go home. I'm taking the train on December 18th and should be into town on December 19th...long ride, about 14 hours if on time but its a nice ride too. Will get to be home for a week and see family and such and then on the 26th Rumba comes to Chicago!! Yay!!! I'm happy for him because that day is his birthday and we'll get to spend a good long week together.
Major snow tonight. I got home around 2:30pm today and thats about when i started. By 6:00 we had about 5 inches on the ground. Right now we have about 7 inches. I'm so glad I don't have a car or long commute. Some folks were on the Ike, the Kennedy and the Dan Ryan for 2-3 hours tonight...daamn thats a long time just to drive 15 miles. 15 miles!!! I could walk it faster than they were driving it. Thats insanity. Plus a plane crashed at Midway tonight. Overshot the runway and hit a few cars in the neighborhood. A 6 year old boy died, the car he was in was underneath the plane. Scary..this is why I absolutely HATE flying. Hate it...hate it...
K. Hope is doing GREAT. Her surgery went well and she's progressing well. She may be able to come home soon which is great. Hopefully in time for the holidays. She still has a long road ahead but she's a fighter. Must be the red hair..hehe!
Wrote up some Christmas cards tonight to get rid of my 37 cent stamps. Public service announcement: Stamps go up to 39 cents starting in January...ya know...why don't they just make it an even 40 cents? I mean REALLY...
Other random ramblings:
I wonder how many homeless die every winter?
Why do people raise their voice when talking to foreigners?
Why do people stare at other people when boarding the bus?
How can women wear spike heels in the winter and not fall?
What is that nasty smell when I walk on Kinzie?
When is someone going to clean up the smeared shit that is near the parking garage?
How can I get into a club without looking like a poseur?
Where can I get a little black dress that isnt too expensive?
How come I'm so anxious to get married and have kids?
I need to sleep...nighty night.
The next few weeks are pretty exciting too. Emmy Lou is coming to Chicago tomorrow...look out Chi-Town, it could get ugly! I'm really excited, we haven't seen each other since August. We might hit up the school holiday party on Saturday, free booze...yay!! The Sioux play the Gophers this weekend. Might have to find a radio to listen in on the big sweep of them stickin Gophers. I work 3 more shifts and then I get to go home. I'm taking the train on December 18th and should be into town on December 19th...long ride, about 14 hours if on time but its a nice ride too. Will get to be home for a week and see family and such and then on the 26th Rumba comes to Chicago!! Yay!!! I'm happy for him because that day is his birthday and we'll get to spend a good long week together.
Major snow tonight. I got home around 2:30pm today and thats about when i started. By 6:00 we had about 5 inches on the ground. Right now we have about 7 inches. I'm so glad I don't have a car or long commute. Some folks were on the Ike, the Kennedy and the Dan Ryan for 2-3 hours tonight...daamn thats a long time just to drive 15 miles. 15 miles!!! I could walk it faster than they were driving it. Thats insanity. Plus a plane crashed at Midway tonight. Overshot the runway and hit a few cars in the neighborhood. A 6 year old boy died, the car he was in was underneath the plane. Scary..this is why I absolutely HATE flying. Hate it...hate it...
K. Hope is doing GREAT. Her surgery went well and she's progressing well. She may be able to come home soon which is great. Hopefully in time for the holidays. She still has a long road ahead but she's a fighter. Must be the red hair..hehe!
Wrote up some Christmas cards tonight to get rid of my 37 cent stamps. Public service announcement: Stamps go up to 39 cents starting in January...ya know...why don't they just make it an even 40 cents? I mean REALLY...
Other random ramblings:
I wonder how many homeless die every winter?
Why do people raise their voice when talking to foreigners?
Why do people stare at other people when boarding the bus?
How can women wear spike heels in the winter and not fall?
What is that nasty smell when I walk on Kinzie?
When is someone going to clean up the smeared shit that is near the parking garage?
How can I get into a club without looking like a poseur?
Where can I get a little black dress that isnt too expensive?
How come I'm so anxious to get married and have kids?
I need to sleep...nighty night.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
"Brooke Is"
Brooke is rather a pre-war poet. (I hate poetry)
Brooke is pregnant. (God I hope not...)
Brooke is thrilled. ( You damn skippy)
Brooke is the third child of the Greenbergs. (Who the hell are they?)
Brooke is the Vice Chairperson for Awareness of Rape and Incest. (That sounds important!)
Brooke is taken home by Peter Thompson. (Who the hell is he?)
Brooke is the third book, in the 7th series of V.C. Andrews novels. (Oooh VC...scandalous)
Brooke is the daughter of a minor actress. (Really? Thats news to me)
Brooke is a delightful 7 year old. (I was once..)
Brooke is pregnant. (God I hope not...)
Brooke is thrilled. ( You damn skippy)
Brooke is the third child of the Greenbergs. (Who the hell are they?)
Brooke is the Vice Chairperson for Awareness of Rape and Incest. (That sounds important!)
Brooke is taken home by Peter Thompson. (Who the hell is he?)
Brooke is the third book, in the 7th series of V.C. Andrews novels. (Oooh VC...scandalous)
Brooke is the daughter of a minor actress. (Really? Thats news to me)
Brooke is a delightful 7 year old. (I was once..)
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Rant: To Speak In An Angry Or Violent Manner
Damn...damnit...fucking shit. Yes, I said fuck and I said I wouldn't say fuck on my blog but I'm gonna say it again...FUCK.
Eat shit and die. Get a spork, eat my ass...etc etc and all those other fun things I like to say when I'm really pissed off and lose sense of politeness and political correctness. Fuck em both at this point, I'm raging pissed.
I have a cousin that is at present only 4 days old. She has an underdeveloped heart, something we have known about for about 5 months before her birth. The risks she is facing are life threatening and difficult to handle. Our family has been blessed to not have many problems health wise and such and now this year its all just fell on top of us. Guess we only were lucky for so long eh? As such, nobody really knows how to deal with all this but we all can pretty much say that its about K. Hope and not us. We're adults, we'll manage, we'll carry on. This is a young baby...we're supposed to be handling it for her.
So this beautiful baby girl is fighting for her life and her parents and brothers and sister are there by her side worrying and wishing and praying. My uncle's parents and my grandparents are down there with them, taking care of the other 3 kids. The rest of us are staying connected through phones and websites and prayers. And what is the focus of this situation right now???
Selfishness.
Thats right. Its all about money and winter trips and not at all about family and support and this delicate member of the family. I want to slap the hell out of these people but being 500 miles away, I can't. Probably a good thing...its not so wise to go beatin on your grandparents I suppose. But god damn. Can you fucking get past yourselves and look at the real big more important picture here?
Oh for shits sake...
I can say that I am truly ashamed to be a member of this family right now. You would think they would get their priorities straight and realize whats more important. A fucking innocent LIFE is on the line here. We could be attending yet another damn funeral around Christmas time (we've had 2 other funerals this time of year. Both die on the 21st, both funerals the 26th...Christmas sucks). And a baby's funeral will be a helluva lot more painful than those two others, as much as those were awful to endure. Can you imagine? They say parents shouldn't bury their kids...you damn skippy. Especially newborns.
We don't all have to gather and sing Kum ba fucking ya here and we're all goin to deal with it in different ways and we can't take it away or bargain with God or give them enough money to help pay for the costs....but goddamnit we can all get past our petty lives...bills, work, trips, tests, school, stupid arguments and be the way a family is supposed to be regardless of the circumstances.
Dear Santa,
My name is Tiger. Forget the material stuff. I could give a damn. What I really want for Christmas is a healthy cousin, an unselfish family, a happy family gathering. Where nobody is pissy and fighting, where the kids can open their presents with glee and the adults can feel blessed to have sown such a great kin.
Dear God,
Bless my family and forgive my dirty, shameful, obscene mouth. Hold us all in the palm of your hand and grant us your grace and presence. Give us peace and strength, especially to K. Hope. Your son Jesus blessed the children. Bless K. Hope. In your Son's name, Amen.
END RANT.
Eat shit and die. Get a spork, eat my ass...etc etc and all those other fun things I like to say when I'm really pissed off and lose sense of politeness and political correctness. Fuck em both at this point, I'm raging pissed.
I have a cousin that is at present only 4 days old. She has an underdeveloped heart, something we have known about for about 5 months before her birth. The risks she is facing are life threatening and difficult to handle. Our family has been blessed to not have many problems health wise and such and now this year its all just fell on top of us. Guess we only were lucky for so long eh? As such, nobody really knows how to deal with all this but we all can pretty much say that its about K. Hope and not us. We're adults, we'll manage, we'll carry on. This is a young baby...we're supposed to be handling it for her.
So this beautiful baby girl is fighting for her life and her parents and brothers and sister are there by her side worrying and wishing and praying. My uncle's parents and my grandparents are down there with them, taking care of the other 3 kids. The rest of us are staying connected through phones and websites and prayers. And what is the focus of this situation right now???
Selfishness.
Thats right. Its all about money and winter trips and not at all about family and support and this delicate member of the family. I want to slap the hell out of these people but being 500 miles away, I can't. Probably a good thing...its not so wise to go beatin on your grandparents I suppose. But god damn. Can you fucking get past yourselves and look at the real big more important picture here?
Oh for shits sake...
I can say that I am truly ashamed to be a member of this family right now. You would think they would get their priorities straight and realize whats more important. A fucking innocent LIFE is on the line here. We could be attending yet another damn funeral around Christmas time (we've had 2 other funerals this time of year. Both die on the 21st, both funerals the 26th...Christmas sucks). And a baby's funeral will be a helluva lot more painful than those two others, as much as those were awful to endure. Can you imagine? They say parents shouldn't bury their kids...you damn skippy. Especially newborns.
We don't all have to gather and sing Kum ba fucking ya here and we're all goin to deal with it in different ways and we can't take it away or bargain with God or give them enough money to help pay for the costs....but goddamnit we can all get past our petty lives...bills, work, trips, tests, school, stupid arguments and be the way a family is supposed to be regardless of the circumstances.
Dear Santa,
My name is Tiger. Forget the material stuff. I could give a damn. What I really want for Christmas is a healthy cousin, an unselfish family, a happy family gathering. Where nobody is pissy and fighting, where the kids can open their presents with glee and the adults can feel blessed to have sown such a great kin.
Dear God,
Bless my family and forgive my dirty, shameful, obscene mouth. Hold us all in the palm of your hand and grant us your grace and presence. Give us peace and strength, especially to K. Hope. Your son Jesus blessed the children. Bless K. Hope. In your Son's name, Amen.
END RANT.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
"Thank Heaven For Little Girls, They Grow Up In The Most Delightful Way"
Hope...sometimes its all you have in life. My newest cousin was born on December 1st and she's a little redheaded angel. An angel with a special heart.
We can never be sure why God lays out his plans in the smallest angels and gives them so many trials to overcome. I think in K. Hope's case its to bring our family together and get our shit together. Some are pretty selfish and think only for themselves instead of this little life that is fighting to hang on.
Here's to the doctors that are keeping her alive and fighting for her too.
For those who hope in the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like Eagles...Isaiah 40:31
We can never be sure why God lays out his plans in the smallest angels and gives them so many trials to overcome. I think in K. Hope's case its to bring our family together and get our shit together. Some are pretty selfish and think only for themselves instead of this little life that is fighting to hang on.
Here's to the doctors that are keeping her alive and fighting for her too.
For those who hope in the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like Eagles...Isaiah 40:31
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Bus Driving Santa
All hail to Route #156. I think it was the first substantial snow today that made Santa board the bus and drive the commuters to the Loop today.Speaking of first snow, everybody got a little nuts in their driving today. Lots of accidents and such. One dude even drove into the windows of a hot dog shop in the Loop today. Crazy bitches...slow your ass down.
No need for the plows today and they don't shovel sidewalks here. People just walk and pack it down and create ice...yesssssss...I cant WAIT to go sliding on my ass or slip as I disembark the bus.
In other news, the lights are up and the tree is trimmed in the foyer of my building. Its quite lovely and festive. I don't have the space for holiday stuff in my little room so I'll go without for now. When Rumba and I get a house...oh its on...there will be lights and garland and flowers and candy all over the place.
All major assignments have been finished and handed in. Woo hoo. I had my final interview for my interviewing class yesterday and I have five final exams next week. Overall, its a lot of work but I'm not sweating it yet. I can only take one exam at a time so thats my study approach as well. I can't believe my first semester of grad school is over.
My aunt is due to have her baby sometime in the next few hours or day. Here's hoping everything goes alright and Baby Kennedy's condition isn't as bad as intially suggested by the doctors.
Now that I've returned to the States I am in a funk. This always happens after Rumba and I have spent some time together and then have to be seperated again. Thank god its only 3 weeks this time. This time is the hangover of a long distance relationship. One goes nuts and binges on love and affection and good times...and then its a sudden cutoff and the lethargy, headaches and heartache lingers for a few days until the system gets back on track.
Ah Chicago, how noisy and huge you are. May my time in the country come sooner than it seems now. NoDak I'm coming home.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Planes, Snow, Hockey, Poutine, En Francais, and Beer
Well I'm back after a fabulous weekend in Northern Ontario. My flights into his hometown went well and on time and I was greeted and picked up by his mom and grand ma-mere. It was like I was never away. They had snow!! Chicago doesnt have snow yet so it felt like winter up there. We got to his house and his other grand ma-mere showed up and an aunt so we sat around, drank wine and had girl talk. They are so fantastic, so welcoming. Then the rest of the family showed up for dinner. More aunts and cousins.
His mom made an "American Thanksgiving." It wasn't turkey dinner but other foods like perogies, caesar salad, crab, shrimp, wings and other stuff. His one aunt brought over an "American" cake which was an American flag and a weiner dog dressed up as Uncle Sam. It was a great dinner. Later Rumba and I had a good laugh over the movie Napoleon Dynamite.
Thursday, Rumba had school so I stayed home and watched football and worked on my paper. His 2nd brother was home also so we hung out together. I think I got on his good side after I taught him how to make a new drink. hahaa!! Later Rumba and I cuddled up and watched Batman Begins.
Friday we went shopping and wandered around town for the afternoon. Later we went to an OHL game and his home team won. It was an exciting game. CanadiEn fans are insane. I was so happy to watch hockey again. After that game we drove an hour to a small town so that Rumba could play in a family tournament. The tournament is just a bunch of amateur guys, usually family members and they play a round robin tournament. Rumba's team is made up of all family...2nd and 3rd cousins of all ages coming together to play for their name. All the wives and girlfriends and mothers sit in the stands to cheer on the men. Lots of beer and food. I was introduced to poutine which is a gravy and cheese mixture that they pour on french fries. They all looked at me like I was crazy when I said I used ranch dressing on my fries. It was really cool experience, the fans welcomed me in no problem.
Saturday we went back to the tournament for 2 more games. The games got pretty vicious. It was amazing to me to see how dirty they were in their play. Rumba said thats not a normal thing with the amateurs and that usually everybody just has a good time. But there was lots of beer and good small town fans and it was a great atmosphere. Lots of French flying around too. Truly, if you can see a CanadiEn game, any level or age, and be amongst the fans, do it. Its a totally different experience from American hockey. Between games we went to one of the cousins ranch for dinner and beer. After the last game the party started at the ranch. About 25 of us drinking beer, wine and whiskey, playing poker, karoke and having a good time. Rumba and I went into the house at 4am. A few didn't get in until 7am. The house looked like a refugee camp with everybody passed out and sleeping in every direction. I had a lot of wine, felt a little icky after but didn't get sick or a hangover. Another game at noon on Sunday. We lost that one in a shootout so our team was out of the tourney. We won the first 3 games though and it was a lot of fun.
I was supposed to leave on Monday but my flight was canceled due to really bad fog. The planes were circling above the runways but couldn't land and had to fly back to Toronto. So I stayed an extra day, woooo hoooo, and came back today instead. My flight into Toronto was really bumpy, lots of turbulence. The flight into Chicago wasn't too bad but it was still bumpy and uncomfortable. I hate flying, I hate it, I hate it. I was so glad to be on the ground.
It was a fantastic weekend. Lots of family and hockey and meeting new people. And of course, lots of quality time with Rumba. Now we only have 3 weeks until our next meeting!!! So much better than 4 months. We have to start planning now for the stuff we want to do while he is in Chicago.
I hope ya'll had a safe (wowza weather) and good Thanksgiving. I miss you!!
His mom made an "American Thanksgiving." It wasn't turkey dinner but other foods like perogies, caesar salad, crab, shrimp, wings and other stuff. His one aunt brought over an "American" cake which was an American flag and a weiner dog dressed up as Uncle Sam. It was a great dinner. Later Rumba and I had a good laugh over the movie Napoleon Dynamite.
Thursday, Rumba had school so I stayed home and watched football and worked on my paper. His 2nd brother was home also so we hung out together. I think I got on his good side after I taught him how to make a new drink. hahaa!! Later Rumba and I cuddled up and watched Batman Begins.
Friday we went shopping and wandered around town for the afternoon. Later we went to an OHL game and his home team won. It was an exciting game. CanadiEn fans are insane. I was so happy to watch hockey again. After that game we drove an hour to a small town so that Rumba could play in a family tournament. The tournament is just a bunch of amateur guys, usually family members and they play a round robin tournament. Rumba's team is made up of all family...2nd and 3rd cousins of all ages coming together to play for their name. All the wives and girlfriends and mothers sit in the stands to cheer on the men. Lots of beer and food. I was introduced to poutine which is a gravy and cheese mixture that they pour on french fries. They all looked at me like I was crazy when I said I used ranch dressing on my fries. It was really cool experience, the fans welcomed me in no problem.
Saturday we went back to the tournament for 2 more games. The games got pretty vicious. It was amazing to me to see how dirty they were in their play. Rumba said thats not a normal thing with the amateurs and that usually everybody just has a good time. But there was lots of beer and good small town fans and it was a great atmosphere. Lots of French flying around too. Truly, if you can see a CanadiEn game, any level or age, and be amongst the fans, do it. Its a totally different experience from American hockey. Between games we went to one of the cousins ranch for dinner and beer. After the last game the party started at the ranch. About 25 of us drinking beer, wine and whiskey, playing poker, karoke and having a good time. Rumba and I went into the house at 4am. A few didn't get in until 7am. The house looked like a refugee camp with everybody passed out and sleeping in every direction. I had a lot of wine, felt a little icky after but didn't get sick or a hangover. Another game at noon on Sunday. We lost that one in a shootout so our team was out of the tourney. We won the first 3 games though and it was a lot of fun.
I was supposed to leave on Monday but my flight was canceled due to really bad fog. The planes were circling above the runways but couldn't land and had to fly back to Toronto. So I stayed an extra day, woooo hoooo, and came back today instead. My flight into Toronto was really bumpy, lots of turbulence. The flight into Chicago wasn't too bad but it was still bumpy and uncomfortable. I hate flying, I hate it, I hate it. I was so glad to be on the ground.
It was a fantastic weekend. Lots of family and hockey and meeting new people. And of course, lots of quality time with Rumba. Now we only have 3 weeks until our next meeting!!! So much better than 4 months. We have to start planning now for the stuff we want to do while he is in Chicago.
I hope ya'll had a safe (wowza weather) and good Thanksgiving. I miss you!!
Monday, November 21, 2005
Quebec vs...well Canada...
My man is from Ontario. So he is a Joe CanadiEn.
CanadiEn culture can be summed up in a beer commercial and its satirical twin:
Joe CanadiEn Rant: http://www.coolcanuckaward.ca/joe_canadian.htm
Hey.
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader, and I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dog sled, and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, although I'm certain they're really, really nice.
I have a Prime Minister, not a President. I speak English and French, not American, and I pronounce it 'about', not 'a boot'.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peacekeeping, not policing; diversity, not assimilation;
and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.
A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch, and it is pronounced zed: not zee – zed!!
Canada is the second largest land mass!
The first nation of hockey! And the best part of North America!
My name is Joe!! And I am Canadian!
... Thank you.
I Am Not Canadien Rant (from Quebec): http://mono144.tripod.com
I'm not unemployed, or smuggling cigarettes across the border.
I don't eat Pepsi and May Wests for breakfast.
I don't watch the hockey game doin it doggy style
And non, I don't know Claude, Manon or François in Abitibi - Témiscamingue
but I'm sure dey all 'ave nice teeth.
I smoke in church.
I speak Québécois and Joual; not French or h'English[sic];
and I pronounce it 'turd', not 'third'.
And eating french fries with cheese makes sense, mon esti;
I believe in distinct society– as long as someone else pays for it.
I believe in language police, not equal rights.
And, calice, I believe that "Club Super Sexe" is an appropriate place
for my wife and me to celebrate our anniversaire!
What da hell, she goes on at ten, anyway!
In Québec, the Stanley Cup actually comes round more often than Halley's Comet.
I can get beer at the dépanneur not at the convenience store.
And maybe I can't turn right on a red light, but, tabarnac, I can go right through it!
Because Québec is the world's largest producer of maple syrup,
the 'ome of Céline Dion and Roch Voisine;
The land where everybody is shackin' up, and the legal drinking age is just a suggestion.
Je m'appelle Guy - and I am not Canadian. (Mautadit tabarnac esti...)
Merci salut la visite!
CanadiEn culture can be summed up in a beer commercial and its satirical twin:
Joe CanadiEn Rant: http://www.coolcanuckaward.ca/joe_canadian.htm
Hey.
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader, and I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dog sled, and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, although I'm certain they're really, really nice.
I have a Prime Minister, not a President. I speak English and French, not American, and I pronounce it 'about', not 'a boot'.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peacekeeping, not policing; diversity, not assimilation;
and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.
A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch, and it is pronounced zed: not zee – zed!!
Canada is the second largest land mass!
The first nation of hockey! And the best part of North America!
My name is Joe!! And I am Canadian!
... Thank you.
I Am Not Canadien Rant (from Quebec): http://mono144.tripod.com
I'm not unemployed, or smuggling cigarettes across the border.
I don't eat Pepsi and May Wests for breakfast.
I don't watch the hockey game doin it doggy style
And non, I don't know Claude, Manon or François in Abitibi - Témiscamingue
but I'm sure dey all 'ave nice teeth.
I smoke in church.
I speak Québécois and Joual; not French or h'English[sic];
and I pronounce it 'turd', not 'third'.
And eating french fries with cheese makes sense, mon esti;
I believe in distinct society– as long as someone else pays for it.
I believe in language police, not equal rights.
And, calice, I believe that "Club Super Sexe" is an appropriate place
for my wife and me to celebrate our anniversaire!
What da hell, she goes on at ten, anyway!
In Québec, the Stanley Cup actually comes round more often than Halley's Comet.
I can get beer at the dépanneur not at the convenience store.
And maybe I can't turn right on a red light, but, tabarnac, I can go right through it!
Because Québec is the world's largest producer of maple syrup,
the 'ome of Céline Dion and Roch Voisine;
The land where everybody is shackin' up, and the legal drinking age is just a suggestion.
Je m'appelle Guy - and I am not Canadian. (Mautadit tabarnac esti...)
Merci salut la visite!
Ahem...ahemina hem..."Oooo Canada"
Yes the big trip to the Great North has arrived and we are so excited. If you could hear our discussions you would want to hurl and plug your ears. We're really mushy on an almost daily basis because we are not together to do it or show it. So we're just a big ol pile of gushy sweetness smothered in love...its just...awesome.
But we haven't been together since July 5th so its warranted in my opinion. If we weren't gushy and sugary sweet to each other, it would be really hard to survive the distance. Oh we fight too. We did that even before we became a couple. Fighting long distance is even harder than showing your love and affection for each other. I don't know how to explain why. He can tell my mood while we're online so its not a matter of miscommunication or misreading. I can't explain it so I won't try but if you've evern been away from your significant other for a long period of time, you'll understand.
I have to be to the airport at 430am...daaamn...and I'll arrive at my destination at 130pm. He'll be in school so his mom is picking me up from the airport. After which I'm going to go home and crawl into his bed for a good nap until he gets home from school. His family is having an "American Thanksgiving" (CanadiEn's celebrate T-day in October) while I'm there too since I won't be with my own family over the holiday. How sweet is that? They are such good people.
But we haven't been together since July 5th so its warranted in my opinion. If we weren't gushy and sugary sweet to each other, it would be really hard to survive the distance. Oh we fight too. We did that even before we became a couple. Fighting long distance is even harder than showing your love and affection for each other. I don't know how to explain why. He can tell my mood while we're online so its not a matter of miscommunication or misreading. I can't explain it so I won't try but if you've evern been away from your significant other for a long period of time, you'll understand.
I have to be to the airport at 430am...daaamn...and I'll arrive at my destination at 130pm. He'll be in school so his mom is picking me up from the airport. After which I'm going to go home and crawl into his bed for a good nap until he gets home from school. His family is having an "American Thanksgiving" (CanadiEn's celebrate T-day in October) while I'm there too since I won't be with my own family over the holiday. How sweet is that? They are such good people.
J'aime mon CanadiEn!!!
Au revoir mes amies!!Sunday, November 20, 2005
Million Man Mag Mile March
Yesterday was the official start to the Chicago holiday season with the lighting of the Magnificent Mile or Michigan Avenue. Unfortunately, I was working but Linda and I went down to the street to stand amongst the people, hoping to catch a glimpse of the parade. Before the parade starts, the whole Mile goes dark. Then Mickey Mouse leads the way, pointing his wand at store fronts and the trees and they shine in Christmas lights and decor. The parade starts at the famous Oak Street (Prada, Gucci, Barneys, Lester Lampert) and goes down to Wacker Drive at the Chicago River. From there, fireworks are lit over the river and Wrigley Building. I did not get to see Mickey light my block of the Mile but I stood amongst the millions of people that were down there. Yes..millions. How cool is that?!
Friday, November 18, 2005
Pretty Name
| Your Hawaiian Name is: |
 |
I actually want one of my children to have that first name, its so pretty. My kids will probably have French names though since his last name is French.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Woman of Bad Timing
Seriously I think I am either really delayed or really ahead of things but I'm never right with it. Good lord, I've had 4...count em...4 months to experiment with my hair color and I choose 6 days before seeing Rumba as the day I'm gonna give it a whirl.
I DO know how to dye my hair so that isn't the issue. Its just that I haven't done it for 2 years so picking a color was the challenge. I did not want to stray too far from my brunette hotness but I wanted to spice up what I call mouse brown hair. It looks like that rat I saw near the Red Line a few weeks ago..
Anyways...so I was aiming for a touch of red which I did have in my hair the last time I dyed my hair. Well...its red alright...I'm hoping its the really craptacular flourescent lights in my bathroom that is giving it a weird color. As I inspect it in the soft glow of a regular light it doesn't seem so bad. Since its dark out I can't run outside to see what it looks like in natural light. It is a totally different color from my natural though so if he doesn't notice I'll kick his ass.
Ah well, as I always say...its just hair. It'll grow out. Or it will grow on me.
And I shaved my legs last night too. Woo for me. Through this experiment I now have figured that I prefer shaved legs. For some reason, it makes my legs appear thin. At least I have the timing figured out on this one instead of getting up there with furry legs. Oh well..he's CanadiEn...maybe they dig chicks with furry legs...ewww...
And I am on the downward swing with school. YAY!!! I have one major paper left and otherwise its all tests from here on out. I can handle tests especially since I've been doing well on all them thus far.
I DO know how to dye my hair so that isn't the issue. Its just that I haven't done it for 2 years so picking a color was the challenge. I did not want to stray too far from my brunette hotness but I wanted to spice up what I call mouse brown hair. It looks like that rat I saw near the Red Line a few weeks ago..
Anyways...so I was aiming for a touch of red which I did have in my hair the last time I dyed my hair. Well...its red alright...I'm hoping its the really craptacular flourescent lights in my bathroom that is giving it a weird color. As I inspect it in the soft glow of a regular light it doesn't seem so bad. Since its dark out I can't run outside to see what it looks like in natural light. It is a totally different color from my natural though so if he doesn't notice I'll kick his ass.
Ah well, as I always say...its just hair. It'll grow out. Or it will grow on me.
And I shaved my legs last night too. Woo for me. Through this experiment I now have figured that I prefer shaved legs. For some reason, it makes my legs appear thin. At least I have the timing figured out on this one instead of getting up there with furry legs. Oh well..he's CanadiEn...maybe they dig chicks with furry legs...ewww...
And I am on the downward swing with school. YAY!!! I have one major paper left and otherwise its all tests from here on out. I can handle tests especially since I've been doing well on all them thus far.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
First Snow and Pretty Skyline
It snowed today! And the winds were 50 mph but it was awesome. I love winter. The snow didn't stick, just kinda blew around but it was snow!!! Of course in the city, the snow won't stay white...it'll be brown immediately because its so dirty and there is so much traffic.
My classes go until 5pm and with the time falling back, it gets pretty much dark by 5. Tonight I was walking home and looked back at the Sear Tower and it was all lit up really pretty. Stood out against the dark wintery sky. The Chicago skyline is incredible. The first night I arrived in Chicago in August we got here at around 8:30pm. It was a beautiful sight to drive on the Ike into downtown Chicago.
And in case anyone wants to know...the winds in Chicago are very similar to the winds at home. Its not such a shock to me to walk out into the cold weather here. I giggle silently to myself when people get up in arms over 45 degree weather. Yeah its a bit nippy but its not the worst thing in the world.
Well I'm off. Im trying not to get sick and I think Im succeeding!!
It snowed today!!!
My classes go until 5pm and with the time falling back, it gets pretty much dark by 5. Tonight I was walking home and looked back at the Sear Tower and it was all lit up really pretty. Stood out against the dark wintery sky. The Chicago skyline is incredible. The first night I arrived in Chicago in August we got here at around 8:30pm. It was a beautiful sight to drive on the Ike into downtown Chicago.
And in case anyone wants to know...the winds in Chicago are very similar to the winds at home. Its not such a shock to me to walk out into the cold weather here. I giggle silently to myself when people get up in arms over 45 degree weather. Yeah its a bit nippy but its not the worst thing in the world.
Well I'm off. Im trying not to get sick and I think Im succeeding!!
It snowed today!!!
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Black Is The New....Black...
Everybody wears black in this town. I wear black pants everyday but its not often I'm covered head to toe in black. I was on the bus today and most everyone had a black winter jacket. I was wearing my bright red, white and gray jacket and I'm sitting here thinking, " Isn't the long cold winter depressing enough that you all have to enhance your misery by wearing black?" So I wear my red, loud and proud...at least my winter will be cheery.
Speaking of black, there are a lot of people in this world that are really cruel and black in their souls. I'm doing a presentation on Karla Homolka tomorrow. This woman is as black as it comes. Google her...she's a fascinatinng person.
Banks in Chicago don't carry foreign currency!! Whats the deal!?! Even banks in NoDak have all the world's currency. Sheesh...so now I have to find a currency exchange before my trip next week. Bugger.
I am so beyond excited to see Rumba next week. It has been way too long since our last time together. We are definitely going to use our time wisely.
I hope ya'll are doing well!! :D
Speaking of black, there are a lot of people in this world that are really cruel and black in their souls. I'm doing a presentation on Karla Homolka tomorrow. This woman is as black as it comes. Google her...she's a fascinatinng person.
Banks in Chicago don't carry foreign currency!! Whats the deal!?! Even banks in NoDak have all the world's currency. Sheesh...so now I have to find a currency exchange before my trip next week. Bugger.
I am so beyond excited to see Rumba next week. It has been way too long since our last time together. We are definitely going to use our time wisely.
I hope ya'll are doing well!! :D
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Please Extract Your Head From Your Ass
...So that all our lives can run smoother.
I wanted to smack the hell out of this girl I work with today. I'm too old to work with 18 year olds...they just piss me off to no end. There were 5 people on shift today and I did triple the work of the other 4. I had twice the sales on my drawer, and folded twice the shirts and was doing circles around the other girl at cashier. I had 6 shirts folded to her ONE sweatshirt and I waited on 5 customers at the same time. Daaamn people, start shakin would ya??
The holidays are upon us so the shoppers are out in full force. The city is starting to get really pretty with the christmas decor and lights. I finished shopping for Rumba yesterday. Now its on to everybody else.
After this week, I think school will be breathable again. I have two papers and a presentation this week and its smooth sailing for the rest of the semester. I'm passing everything so far so I'm not worried. Woo hoo!
I've been up way too late this week, 1-3am. I need to get to bed at a decent hour so I don't get sick. I'm feeling pretty good though and am really looking forward to my trip to Ontario over Thanksgiving!! :D
Nighty night :)
I wanted to smack the hell out of this girl I work with today. I'm too old to work with 18 year olds...they just piss me off to no end. There were 5 people on shift today and I did triple the work of the other 4. I had twice the sales on my drawer, and folded twice the shirts and was doing circles around the other girl at cashier. I had 6 shirts folded to her ONE sweatshirt and I waited on 5 customers at the same time. Daaamn people, start shakin would ya??
The holidays are upon us so the shoppers are out in full force. The city is starting to get really pretty with the christmas decor and lights. I finished shopping for Rumba yesterday. Now its on to everybody else.
After this week, I think school will be breathable again. I have two papers and a presentation this week and its smooth sailing for the rest of the semester. I'm passing everything so far so I'm not worried. Woo hoo!
I've been up way too late this week, 1-3am. I need to get to bed at a decent hour so I don't get sick. I'm feeling pretty good though and am really looking forward to my trip to Ontario over Thanksgiving!! :D
Nighty night :)
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Bandura and Watson and Miss Lou
Bandura is a Leo (haaaa!), enjoys playing with feet, eating knibblers, snoozing in the sun and is obsessed with The Daily Show.
Watson is a Scorpio, more of an Anderson Cooper fan, like sniffing out the grass, bouncing up and down 3 times and then spinning around til he pukes, much like the way he enjoys revolving doors.
So I chatted with my roomie, Miss Lou, this eve and I realized how much I miss her. She's the most amazing person anyone would be graced to meet. She has such an intense yet free spirit about her. You can't help but laugh at her antics and be moved by her seriousness. I remember the time we actually became good friends. I think she asked for a ride home from band practice in the Beast...haaaa...everybody loves the Beast. And then it just sort of happened from there. I think the whole 52 in 100 on a bus pretty much cemented it though.
We survived and thrived through a lot of stuff together in our years. Breakups and dumb boys, the subsequent chase into even more dumb boys, letting a strange freshman crash on our floor during the Bama trip and then becoming his friend..wowza, whoda thunk it? A summer of biking around El Forko Grande, the roomie that moved her furniture with the phases of the moon, driving around Swanies parking lot 10 times just to shake our heads to Bohemian Rhapsody. The early Saturday mornings at the Alerus, the long cold walks to the Ralph, shakin it to the drums, and going back for more the following week. The band trips and the good times with the geeks and sitting at the very top of the Bisondome. Eating oreos and cheetos and drinking wine while feeling sorry for ourselves, watching scary movies and getting freaked out, writing 'books' on how the world really is and how we would run it if by a no chance in hell and really good luck we ever got to run the world. Eating off a microwave box and living in ant farm with a penis tree, swooning over new boys and bemoaning them when they ran away from our charm. Dreaming of exacting our revenge on the sex fiends above us with the big rumbly trucks using the Valley's finest crop. Many a night at Tabula, taking in the cute guitar players and yes...even buying their really crappy cd's. Spinach dip and salad at the Moose, driving in circles around town, getting so lost we end up in Duluth and shakin it down at the Rock. Trying to figure out exactly what is the thing with the things and the thingys. Late night study fests, or procrastination periods. Sporks and asses and whippy shitty drunkeness. Dave at Alpine and U-eys in downtown Chicago. Going to Walmart at midnight for a tool to get the damn hamster out from under the dishwasher, oh RIP Gerdie, the CanadiEn invasion, gradumatation and moving on to the big city life. Many laughs, many tears, many memories.
She's the kind of friend you know you can get good shoe advice, make sure you don't drunk call your ex, share a Bend and Jerry's, and have long talks about everything and nothing at the same time.
I think we all need a friend that sticks it through, loves you no matter what and inspires you. Miss Lou is mine. She's definitely been there for me when nobody else has been and she continues to be even though we're no longer in the same zip code. Its in her spirit to love with all her heart which seems endless to those that know her best. She inspires me to be a better person in so many ways just because she can and doesn't even know she does.
Love ya ma'am :)
Watson is a Scorpio, more of an Anderson Cooper fan, like sniffing out the grass, bouncing up and down 3 times and then spinning around til he pukes, much like the way he enjoys revolving doors.
So I chatted with my roomie, Miss Lou, this eve and I realized how much I miss her. She's the most amazing person anyone would be graced to meet. She has such an intense yet free spirit about her. You can't help but laugh at her antics and be moved by her seriousness. I remember the time we actually became good friends. I think she asked for a ride home from band practice in the Beast...haaaa...everybody loves the Beast. And then it just sort of happened from there. I think the whole 52 in 100 on a bus pretty much cemented it though.
We survived and thrived through a lot of stuff together in our years. Breakups and dumb boys, the subsequent chase into even more dumb boys, letting a strange freshman crash on our floor during the Bama trip and then becoming his friend..wowza, whoda thunk it? A summer of biking around El Forko Grande, the roomie that moved her furniture with the phases of the moon, driving around Swanies parking lot 10 times just to shake our heads to Bohemian Rhapsody. The early Saturday mornings at the Alerus, the long cold walks to the Ralph, shakin it to the drums, and going back for more the following week. The band trips and the good times with the geeks and sitting at the very top of the Bisondome. Eating oreos and cheetos and drinking wine while feeling sorry for ourselves, watching scary movies and getting freaked out, writing 'books' on how the world really is and how we would run it if by a no chance in hell and really good luck we ever got to run the world. Eating off a microwave box and living in ant farm with a penis tree, swooning over new boys and bemoaning them when they ran away from our charm. Dreaming of exacting our revenge on the sex fiends above us with the big rumbly trucks using the Valley's finest crop. Many a night at Tabula, taking in the cute guitar players and yes...even buying their really crappy cd's. Spinach dip and salad at the Moose, driving in circles around town, getting so lost we end up in Duluth and shakin it down at the Rock. Trying to figure out exactly what is the thing with the things and the thingys. Late night study fests, or procrastination periods. Sporks and asses and whippy shitty drunkeness. Dave at Alpine and U-eys in downtown Chicago. Going to Walmart at midnight for a tool to get the damn hamster out from under the dishwasher, oh RIP Gerdie, the CanadiEn invasion, gradumatation and moving on to the big city life. Many laughs, many tears, many memories.
She's the kind of friend you know you can get good shoe advice, make sure you don't drunk call your ex, share a Bend and Jerry's, and have long talks about everything and nothing at the same time.
I think we all need a friend that sticks it through, loves you no matter what and inspires you. Miss Lou is mine. She's definitely been there for me when nobody else has been and she continues to be even though we're no longer in the same zip code. Its in her spirit to love with all her heart which seems endless to those that know her best. She inspires me to be a better person in so many ways just because she can and doesn't even know she does.
Love ya ma'am :)
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Rain and Sioux Loss
So it rained all day today. Reason #1 I am crabby.
And the Sioux football team blew the game out their ass...Reason #2 I am crabby.
And the Sioux hockey team...well I don't think they showed up tonight at all...Reason #3 I am crabby.
I'm just crabby...
And so when I get like this I lose sight of everything and get really pessimistic about a lot of stuff. So I guess this will be really random but in the end, it all sort of ties together I imagine. This is cathartic for me because once I get it out, I usually feel better. I am one of those people that really hide a lot of stuff, mostly because I think public display of neuroticism is counter productve and a waste of time and because most people don't understand anyways.
I feel like a slug for sitting all day and doing nothing but work on my paper. No wonder I am overweight, I don't move. I could have gone for a walk in the rain or something but no...I took the easier route and just sat here and stared at my computer screen all day.
I'm seeing Rumba in 17 days and part of me is really excited because I miss him sooo much and the other part of me is dreading it. Mostly because I am not happy with my appearance...sigh..it all comes back to my fat ass. I know he doesn't care, but its my own confidence that holds me back.
I wish we could see each other more often than every 4 months. I really envy those people that see their SO's every day or almost every day. I don't think they really know how lucky they are.
I would like to walk outside after dark and not be afraid of someone attacking me.
I would like to keep my shades open instead of hiding from the masturbating jackass across the way.
I wish I had about 5 feet more space in my apartment.
I miss my family.
I wish my sister would talk honestly to people instead of hide behind lies.
I wish my grandfather never got cancer. I wish he didn't have to feel like shit to feel better.
I'm sick of fire truck sirens.
I wish my boss wasn't a nutcase.
I wish I wasn't a nutcase.
And the Sioux football team blew the game out their ass...Reason #2 I am crabby.
And the Sioux hockey team...well I don't think they showed up tonight at all...Reason #3 I am crabby.
I'm just crabby...
And so when I get like this I lose sight of everything and get really pessimistic about a lot of stuff. So I guess this will be really random but in the end, it all sort of ties together I imagine. This is cathartic for me because once I get it out, I usually feel better. I am one of those people that really hide a lot of stuff, mostly because I think public display of neuroticism is counter productve and a waste of time and because most people don't understand anyways.
I feel like a slug for sitting all day and doing nothing but work on my paper. No wonder I am overweight, I don't move. I could have gone for a walk in the rain or something but no...I took the easier route and just sat here and stared at my computer screen all day.
I'm seeing Rumba in 17 days and part of me is really excited because I miss him sooo much and the other part of me is dreading it. Mostly because I am not happy with my appearance...sigh..it all comes back to my fat ass. I know he doesn't care, but its my own confidence that holds me back.
I wish we could see each other more often than every 4 months. I really envy those people that see their SO's every day or almost every day. I don't think they really know how lucky they are.
I would like to walk outside after dark and not be afraid of someone attacking me.
I would like to keep my shades open instead of hiding from the masturbating jackass across the way.
I wish I had about 5 feet more space in my apartment.
I miss my family.
I wish my sister would talk honestly to people instead of hide behind lies.
I wish my grandfather never got cancer. I wish he didn't have to feel like shit to feel better.
I'm sick of fire truck sirens.
I wish my boss wasn't a nutcase.
I wish I wasn't a nutcase.
Currently Spinning...
Dance, Dance--Fall Out Boy
Just a fun song
Dare--Gorillaz
Their videos are brilliant
Shake It Off--Mariah Carey
Normally not at all a Mariah Fan but I dig this song.
Helena--My Chemical Romance
Love the video
The Hand That Feeds--NIN
Trent Reznor got really hot for this video....great bass line and synthesizer
When We Make Love--Ginuwine
Its just a horny man, but I dig his music
Feel Good Inc.--Gorillaz
Again great video
Dreamgirl--Dave Matthews Band
I'm always spinning Dave...this isn't a shocker
Right Here--Stained
Something about a sullen, soulful guitar player
Come A Little Closer--Dierks Bentley
I don't normally like Mr. Bentley, but for this tune, I make an exception. Its just dirty!!
You and Me--Lifehouse
First time Rumba sent this to me, I damn near cried..very sweet tune.
La Tortura--Shakira
Have you seen this video? Shakira is HOT and I wanna learn that shimmy thing she does.
Best Of You--Foo Fighters
Classic Foo Fighters
Bad Day--Daniel Powter
Reminds me of Rumba's dad singing it out loud...definitely suitable some days though.
Take Your Mama--Scissor Sisters
Gay pride at its best, and the lead sounds so much like Elton John
Be My Escape--Relient K
Good band overall
Beverly Hills--Weezer
Who else but Weezer pays homage to the Hef in their videos??
Filthy Gorgeous--Scissor Sisters
Fun, upbeat, makes you think of a drag show
Lose Control--Missy Elliot
Great dance tune
Stay With Me--Josh Gracin
Don't really like Josh much, but this is a good tune.
Going To A Go Go--Smokey Robinson
Who doesn't like Smokey?!
Obsession-Frankie J
Another horny man, but who gives a damn..its a sweet tune.
Love Me Tender--Elvis Presley
Aaahh Elvis...
Do You Like It--Our Lady Peace
Mmmm CanadiEns....
Just a fun song
Dare--Gorillaz
Their videos are brilliant
Shake It Off--Mariah Carey
Normally not at all a Mariah Fan but I dig this song.
Helena--My Chemical Romance
Love the video
The Hand That Feeds--NIN
Trent Reznor got really hot for this video....great bass line and synthesizer
When We Make Love--Ginuwine
Its just a horny man, but I dig his music
Feel Good Inc.--Gorillaz
Again great video
Dreamgirl--Dave Matthews Band
I'm always spinning Dave...this isn't a shocker
Right Here--Stained
Something about a sullen, soulful guitar player
Come A Little Closer--Dierks Bentley
I don't normally like Mr. Bentley, but for this tune, I make an exception. Its just dirty!!
You and Me--Lifehouse
First time Rumba sent this to me, I damn near cried..very sweet tune.
La Tortura--Shakira
Have you seen this video? Shakira is HOT and I wanna learn that shimmy thing she does.
Best Of You--Foo Fighters
Classic Foo Fighters
Bad Day--Daniel Powter
Reminds me of Rumba's dad singing it out loud...definitely suitable some days though.
Take Your Mama--Scissor Sisters
Gay pride at its best, and the lead sounds so much like Elton John
Be My Escape--Relient K
Good band overall
Beverly Hills--Weezer
Who else but Weezer pays homage to the Hef in their videos??
Filthy Gorgeous--Scissor Sisters
Fun, upbeat, makes you think of a drag show
Lose Control--Missy Elliot
Great dance tune
Stay With Me--Josh Gracin
Don't really like Josh much, but this is a good tune.
Going To A Go Go--Smokey Robinson
Who doesn't like Smokey?!
Obsession-Frankie J
Another horny man, but who gives a damn..its a sweet tune.
Love Me Tender--Elvis Presley
Aaahh Elvis...
Do You Like It--Our Lady Peace
Mmmm CanadiEns....
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Nationwide Epidemic...My Personal Struggle
The US is fat. Obesity rates have risen dramatically in the last 30 years due to the foods we consume, the lack of exercise, fad diets, and the increasing social attitude and pressure that "thin is the best."
I haven't been thin since before puberty. My family and extended family is predisposed to overweight, big boned people. None of us are supermodel thin and almost all of us have struggled with our weight. My mother has been through a lot of ups and downs with her own weight and watching this as I was growing up, I really did not want my body and my body image to take over my life.
Almost 6 years ago I was in an unhealthy relationship and gained a lot of weight as a result of depression and social isolation. Thank God I ended that situation but I haven't lost or done anything about my weight problem. I just accepted it as a part of getting older, changing body in the 20's and college years and still never really saw myself as overweight.
In the last year, it has defintely become apparent that I have a problem. I am not healthy and I know this. I do not like the way my clothing fits, I dread clothes shopping. I find many cute clothing items and the stores that are for my particular age group are all geard toward the skinny, fit woman. Instead of celebrating my body like I have in the past, I am hiding it more and more. I have an athletic, fit boyfriend who loves me no matter what, but its still a factor in my want to be in better shape.
I do not eat garbage food. I just eat too much when I do eat. I have a strong phobia of public gyms and I do not have the financial means to have a membership at a health club, even if I wanted it. Plus it seems so out of reach that I could be thin and fit again.
I have a desire to be more fit and in shape because I am tired of being disillusioned about my figure and then hitting an extreme low when I come to the realization that I am fat...
So I didn't do it today and I've said I'll do it before. But I think that obesity is like alcoholism...its an addiction but in a different way and it can be dealt with in the same manner as alcoholics treat themselves. When alcoholics are working on sobriety, they say "I'm sober today." Maybe the fat person I am can say, "I'm thin today. If I fall off tomorrow, I can still climb back on."
I'm thin today.
I haven't been thin since before puberty. My family and extended family is predisposed to overweight, big boned people. None of us are supermodel thin and almost all of us have struggled with our weight. My mother has been through a lot of ups and downs with her own weight and watching this as I was growing up, I really did not want my body and my body image to take over my life.
Almost 6 years ago I was in an unhealthy relationship and gained a lot of weight as a result of depression and social isolation. Thank God I ended that situation but I haven't lost or done anything about my weight problem. I just accepted it as a part of getting older, changing body in the 20's and college years and still never really saw myself as overweight.
In the last year, it has defintely become apparent that I have a problem. I am not healthy and I know this. I do not like the way my clothing fits, I dread clothes shopping. I find many cute clothing items and the stores that are for my particular age group are all geard toward the skinny, fit woman. Instead of celebrating my body like I have in the past, I am hiding it more and more. I have an athletic, fit boyfriend who loves me no matter what, but its still a factor in my want to be in better shape.
I do not eat garbage food. I just eat too much when I do eat. I have a strong phobia of public gyms and I do not have the financial means to have a membership at a health club, even if I wanted it. Plus it seems so out of reach that I could be thin and fit again.
I have a desire to be more fit and in shape because I am tired of being disillusioned about my figure and then hitting an extreme low when I come to the realization that I am fat...
So I didn't do it today and I've said I'll do it before. But I think that obesity is like alcoholism...its an addiction but in a different way and it can be dealt with in the same manner as alcoholics treat themselves. When alcoholics are working on sobriety, they say "I'm sober today." Maybe the fat person I am can say, "I'm thin today. If I fall off tomorrow, I can still climb back on."
I'm thin today.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Watching Suicide
Today in my clinical interviewing class the teacher brought in tapes of the after effects of people committing suicide. I did not see the value in this before class and I don't see the value in it now. It was gratuitous violence, one of those tapes of "Forbidden in America" or "Faces of Death." The teacher showed them doing a forensic analysis of the bodies and then one tape showed someone jumping off a building and then a closeup of the body. The teacher claimed that it was to show what could happen if clinicians (like we all will be) don't take suicide ideation or thoughts seriously and that we could get our license pulled, yada yada yada. I don't need to see a body to know that suicide is a serious deal. It wasn't a video on a clinician doing an interview, doing the wrong things and then the client going out and comitting suicide. It was just...blatant violence for the 'sexiness' of violence.
Now I don't get grossed out by gore, I was just disturbed that I was forced to watch this when I saw no value in it at all. Its the same kind of disturbed feelings I had watching the people from the World Trade Center jump and hear the noise when they hit the ground. For personal reasons, I couldn't even watch the woman jump from the building and I couldn't watch the footage of her battered and broken body on the street below. We continued to talk about suicide after the video and I damn near started crying. I have never been so distressed in my life.
I've been in the middle of a suicide attempt by a 14 year old girl I was supervising. I had to deal with the police and mental health doctors, calling my partner back from an activity, the after effects with a houseful of kids, do reports, send this child to the 3rd floor. I didn't sleep for 3 days, had nightmares for 2 weeks, I had to evaluate my performance under crisis, and I found God again. That entire experience was way more valuable to me than any bloody video.
Clearly, my field is not a pretty field and I will be dealing with the absolute extremes of humanity. I accept that fact. But I do not accept gratuitous display of human suffering and despair.
Now I don't get grossed out by gore, I was just disturbed that I was forced to watch this when I saw no value in it at all. Its the same kind of disturbed feelings I had watching the people from the World Trade Center jump and hear the noise when they hit the ground. For personal reasons, I couldn't even watch the woman jump from the building and I couldn't watch the footage of her battered and broken body on the street below. We continued to talk about suicide after the video and I damn near started crying. I have never been so distressed in my life.
I've been in the middle of a suicide attempt by a 14 year old girl I was supervising. I had to deal with the police and mental health doctors, calling my partner back from an activity, the after effects with a houseful of kids, do reports, send this child to the 3rd floor. I didn't sleep for 3 days, had nightmares for 2 weeks, I had to evaluate my performance under crisis, and I found God again. That entire experience was way more valuable to me than any bloody video.
Clearly, my field is not a pretty field and I will be dealing with the absolute extremes of humanity. I accept that fact. But I do not accept gratuitous display of human suffering and despair.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Of Exams and Anxiety
Had my second midterm exam today and I was not all that worried about it. I've taken this material twice before and I just felt like it was all a big review. But...
Everybody else was seriously wiggin out over this exam. I mean really really up in arms and nervous about it. They were all so intimidated by the 11 chapters of material that they over focused themselves on so much of the material instead of taking a more general sense.
I saw one of my classmates with typed note cards and her friends were trying to get her to stop before the test...she didn't until she got the test in her hand. She was tapping her pen, fidgety, swinging her legs. I couldn't believe how anxious this girl was over this exam.
As I suspected (and of course this is all subjective), the test was not bad at all. I was really happy with the way I did on it and I expect to have a high grade for it.
I'm not sure why everybody gets so anxious over tests. I've never been one to let an exam get the best of me. I'm not sure if thats the right attitude to have since the majority of people get so anxious over exams, but it sure makes my life easier.
I'm tired and worn out. I would like to have a day to sleep in please. My sunday was blown because of a meeting. So now I'm just in a haze.
More reading to do...night ya'll! :)
Everybody else was seriously wiggin out over this exam. I mean really really up in arms and nervous about it. They were all so intimidated by the 11 chapters of material that they over focused themselves on so much of the material instead of taking a more general sense.
I saw one of my classmates with typed note cards and her friends were trying to get her to stop before the test...she didn't until she got the test in her hand. She was tapping her pen, fidgety, swinging her legs. I couldn't believe how anxious this girl was over this exam.
As I suspected (and of course this is all subjective), the test was not bad at all. I was really happy with the way I did on it and I expect to have a high grade for it.
I'm not sure why everybody gets so anxious over tests. I've never been one to let an exam get the best of me. I'm not sure if thats the right attitude to have since the majority of people get so anxious over exams, but it sure makes my life easier.
I'm tired and worn out. I would like to have a day to sleep in please. My sunday was blown because of a meeting. So now I'm just in a haze.
More reading to do...night ya'll! :)
Monday, October 31, 2005
A Leg Hair Experiment That Could Go Awry
So yes, I'm one of those people that does not shave their legs every day...or even every other day...or even every week. Seriously, I could give a damn about my leg hair. It grows very slow to begin with so its quite pointless for me to be anal about my leg hair. And I'm lazy and like to sleep in until the last possible minute and that doesn't leave the time necessary to have freshly shaven legs on a daily basis. So I think the last time I shaved my legs was in...well I can't remember, but its been at least 2-3 months. Now you may be thinking, thats nasty...but its just hair. I do shave my underarms though...that is nasty. Bacteria and sweat and sweater fuzz are nasty when combined with underarm hair. But my legs...nobody is gonna see them, I wear pants 365 days a year and my boyfriend is over 600 miles away. All the legit reasons for freshly shaven legs don't apply to me at this point.
So I'm working to see how long my leg hair can actually get. Yes, I'm warped and I need a life. I'm well aware thanks. Never claimed otherwise. But I will be seeing Rumba in 3 weeks (finally!!...after 4 months of not seeing each other) so eventually this experiment will have to end. Just cuz he has fur doesn't mean I should.
But I was abruptly awakened today by 10 fire truck sirens as they pulled up in front of my building. I'm like shit...what if there is a fire? I ain't going out there without pants!! My robe isnt long enough!! This was seriously the first thought in my head this morning as I listened to the firemen, wondering if they're gonna come barreling through my door. Not the fact that my head hair is standing on end, my eyes are plastered shut and my motor movement is severely limited due to not being entirely awake yet. Not the fact that if there is a fire I could lose all my worldly possessions and be homeless. Yep...I was concerned about my furry legs.
So I might just have to end this experiment in the morning...just because in the event that I may have to evacuate the building, I'm afraid of what the firemen will say about my furry legs..."daaaamn, she could set on fire herself."
Yes people, I am that hot...
So I'm working to see how long my leg hair can actually get. Yes, I'm warped and I need a life. I'm well aware thanks. Never claimed otherwise. But I will be seeing Rumba in 3 weeks (finally!!...after 4 months of not seeing each other) so eventually this experiment will have to end. Just cuz he has fur doesn't mean I should.
But I was abruptly awakened today by 10 fire truck sirens as they pulled up in front of my building. I'm like shit...what if there is a fire? I ain't going out there without pants!! My robe isnt long enough!! This was seriously the first thought in my head this morning as I listened to the firemen, wondering if they're gonna come barreling through my door. Not the fact that my head hair is standing on end, my eyes are plastered shut and my motor movement is severely limited due to not being entirely awake yet. Not the fact that if there is a fire I could lose all my worldly possessions and be homeless. Yep...I was concerned about my furry legs.
So I might just have to end this experiment in the morning...just because in the event that I may have to evacuate the building, I'm afraid of what the firemen will say about my furry legs..."daaaamn, she could set on fire herself."
Yes people, I am that hot...
Friday, October 28, 2005
Random Things I Saw Today...
A guy dressed in a chicken suit.
6 tons of shredded paper on the streets of the Loop.
2 helicopters suspended in the air above LaSalle and Wacker.
1.75 million Sox fans gathered.
A girl wearing hot pink kitten heel shoes and a furry leopard coat.
An old "tranny."
A well dressed woman handing out white socks to kids.
A Chicago Sanitation and Streets worker throw a cup of mocha on the street.
An old man commanding his cute dog to spit out the paper it picked along the journey
4 elderly Polish chattering in their native tongue as they walked up the boulevard.
Two lost guys get on the Brown line and don't know how to get going in the right direction.
Something sticky staining the bus seat next to me.
A window washer dangling from the CompUSA building on Rush.
6 tons of shredded paper on the streets of the Loop.
2 helicopters suspended in the air above LaSalle and Wacker.
1.75 million Sox fans gathered.
A girl wearing hot pink kitten heel shoes and a furry leopard coat.
An old "tranny."
A well dressed woman handing out white socks to kids.
A Chicago Sanitation and Streets worker throw a cup of mocha on the street.
An old man commanding his cute dog to spit out the paper it picked along the journey
4 elderly Polish chattering in their native tongue as they walked up the boulevard.
Two lost guys get on the Brown line and don't know how to get going in the right direction.
Something sticky staining the bus seat next to me.
A window washer dangling from the CompUSA building on Rush.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
My Other Man...
Skinner is the MAN!!! HAAAAAAAA.....what a brilliant dude this guy was. He played with pigeons and rats his whole life and wrote volumes of boring books about it...thats awesome! He put his daughter in an airtight but airfilled enclosed crib. He formed one of the basic theories that explains virtually any behavior. He was one of the most brilliant minds in psychology and in the last month of his life, he was awarded for his work by the APA...after which he proceeded to slam the organization for its sudden focus on cognitive psych and moving away from the observable this radical behaviorist found to be the crux of study. SoI raise my Skinner Box to you, Mr. B.F....I salute you and your pigeons...
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Sweet Home Chicago!!!!
Chicago White Sox Win!!
People are partying and dancing in the streets. The car horns are constant and the emergency sirens are ringing too. Helicopters, fireworks, people screaming and yelling...Its insanity!!!
Doesn't matter what fan you are...Cubs or Sox...its a great time to be in Chicago and be a ball fan.
I'm not a ball fan...but I'm excited for everybody just the same.
Come What May
Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Everyday I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high no river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Oh come what may, come what may I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place...
Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day
I really love this song and I love the movie, Moulin Rouge, too. I'm one sappy ass romantic so I totally dig this type of thing. Weirdo I know.
I am lovesick this evening, could really use the warm body of my honey next to me. Only 27 more days!! Hey...at this point, I'll take anything since we haven't been together since July. Our countdowns may seem silly to some, especially when we start so high...like 60 days or something..but they really help us keep things in perspective when the distance gets really hard to handle. Sometimes, the little things count the most. Somehow ticking down the days makes the days go faster for us. So while 27 days is still a ways away...its much better than 90 days...which it was only 2 months ago.
If that makes sense...my mind is all confuddled over missing him.
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Everyday I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high no river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Oh come what may, come what may I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place...
Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day
I really love this song and I love the movie, Moulin Rouge, too. I'm one sappy ass romantic so I totally dig this type of thing. Weirdo I know.
I am lovesick this evening, could really use the warm body of my honey next to me. Only 27 more days!! Hey...at this point, I'll take anything since we haven't been together since July. Our countdowns may seem silly to some, especially when we start so high...like 60 days or something..but they really help us keep things in perspective when the distance gets really hard to handle. Sometimes, the little things count the most. Somehow ticking down the days makes the days go faster for us. So while 27 days is still a ways away...its much better than 90 days...which it was only 2 months ago.
If that makes sense...my mind is all confuddled over missing him.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Ok...Apparently I'm The Weird One...
Because I have a hard time rationalizing in my head that 50 degrees is cold enough to be covered head to toe in heavy clothing. Come on people, lets be a bit more hearty eh? Put your gloves, your scarves and your knit hats away. Its not cold enough yet. I swear to god if I see snowboots, I might point and laugh hysterically to the point where someone will call me in to the foam hospital.
And its SPRINKLING, not a freakin torrential downpour...put the umbrella away. You are not made of sugar, you will not melt..and repeat...
I had my first oral presentation today. For some strange reason my eyes clouded over when I started to read or my contacts went all weird on me because it was really fuzzy and I had a hard time reading. Never happened before and I wasn't all that nervous. My topic was on how personality can predict music preference and it generated some good discussion. I was happy with how I did and the result. I picked this particular topic because I am really into music and feel that music is one of the most important mediums in which a person can be expressive, gain confidence, and in some ways shape their values, beliefs and identity. I also don't think it is fair for the government or other bodies to censor music. Personal censorship should be more important. Obviously a 3 year old should not be listening to heavy metal or rap music, but if a parent is conscientious, this will not be an issue. I have differing views on what genres of music I like and do not like, but I don't promote censorship because I think it is an infringement on our basic rights.
I also finished my take home midterm tonight. It was a 5 question take home essay exam. It wasn't too bad, I just wish I would have started on it earlier instead of putting it off. I think I just work better under pressure because no matter how hard I try, I still manage to procrastinate. Things get done and I produce quality. Guess its just who I am.
I'm still on track to get through this week only slightly scathed. I'm staying on top of things as well and not falling behind due to the projects. I'm proud of that accomplishment.
My dad got the job!! Woo hoo!! I'm happy for him, it will be a good change for my parents. He owes me ice cream now since I helped his with his resume and letter. That was part of the deal. Hehe!
My boyfriend is doing great, he's at his first placement this week and next. He's excited about it and I'm happy that things are going well for him in school. We are counting down the days until my visit over Turkey Day. We don't have any major plans. I'll probably go watch him play hockey which I'm excited to watch. It will be great just to be together.
Well I'm off..night ya'll!
And its SPRINKLING, not a freakin torrential downpour...put the umbrella away. You are not made of sugar, you will not melt..and repeat...
I had my first oral presentation today. For some strange reason my eyes clouded over when I started to read or my contacts went all weird on me because it was really fuzzy and I had a hard time reading. Never happened before and I wasn't all that nervous. My topic was on how personality can predict music preference and it generated some good discussion. I was happy with how I did and the result. I picked this particular topic because I am really into music and feel that music is one of the most important mediums in which a person can be expressive, gain confidence, and in some ways shape their values, beliefs and identity. I also don't think it is fair for the government or other bodies to censor music. Personal censorship should be more important. Obviously a 3 year old should not be listening to heavy metal or rap music, but if a parent is conscientious, this will not be an issue. I have differing views on what genres of music I like and do not like, but I don't promote censorship because I think it is an infringement on our basic rights.
I also finished my take home midterm tonight. It was a 5 question take home essay exam. It wasn't too bad, I just wish I would have started on it earlier instead of putting it off. I think I just work better under pressure because no matter how hard I try, I still manage to procrastinate. Things get done and I produce quality. Guess its just who I am.
I'm still on track to get through this week only slightly scathed. I'm staying on top of things as well and not falling behind due to the projects. I'm proud of that accomplishment.
My dad got the job!! Woo hoo!! I'm happy for him, it will be a good change for my parents. He owes me ice cream now since I helped his with his resume and letter. That was part of the deal. Hehe!
My boyfriend is doing great, he's at his first placement this week and next. He's excited about it and I'm happy that things are going well for him in school. We are counting down the days until my visit over Turkey Day. We don't have any major plans. I'll probably go watch him play hockey which I'm excited to watch. It will be great just to be together.
Well I'm off..night ya'll!
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Big City Phenomena--Rats and Pigeons
Why do big cities have such huge rat and pigeon populations? I don't get it. Smaller communities don't have this problem and the populations of rats and pigeons is overwhelming. I realize its dirty and these animals thrive on dirt and nastiness but it still baffles me. By the way, I don't see rats on the streets or alleys...I saw my first rat today on the Red Line tracks...the moving box gave it away. Pigeons, however, dive bomb me on a regular basis.
I spoke with my parents tonight. We talk on the phone once a week...feels good to connect. Nothing new at home, just the same old stuff. Its good some things stay the same.
The building turned the heat on for the first time last night. Got down to 40 degrees, that must be their sign to crank it up. I have the heat on and the window open...something is wrong with this picture!
I miss my friends. Emmy Lou, Nelle and Schill. Love my girls, wish I could see them more often.
Life is pretty good right now. No major complaints.
Night!
I spoke with my parents tonight. We talk on the phone once a week...feels good to connect. Nothing new at home, just the same old stuff. Its good some things stay the same.
The building turned the heat on for the first time last night. Got down to 40 degrees, that must be their sign to crank it up. I have the heat on and the window open...something is wrong with this picture!
I miss my friends. Emmy Lou, Nelle and Schill. Love my girls, wish I could see them more often.
Life is pretty good right now. No major complaints.
Night!
Saturday, October 22, 2005
World Series--Sox Fans and Cubs Fans...and Those Pesky Tourists
So Game #1 of the World Series is tonight. This is huge for Sox Fans who haven't been to the World Series in 46 years. Yawn..yeah its exciting, but I'm not a pro baseball fan so I don't give a damn. We have this baseball shaped pennants at the store..they look like placemats so people don't see them as "pennants" right away. I figure yeah, go ahead and use it as a placemat..eat spaghettio's while you're at it. Haaaaaa!
Another thing: Cubs fans and Sox fans mixed...shouldn't happen. Cubs fans are a whole breed of their own. Sox fans appear to be rather humble in comparison to Cubs fans. Not sure what it is. Its amusing to watch Cubs fans yell at the Sox fans..wait a minute? Your team sucks just as much as their team so what are you yelling about?? And they got the damn World Series...the last I heard the Cubs last chance at the Big One was whizzed down their legs...I'm so gonna get my ass kicked by my roomie when she reads this...haaaa, love ya Em!! I will say this: Even though I am not a baseball fan, I always root for the underdog team in a situation, and since the Sox have been an underdog team for..well forever..I root for the Sox...for this short period of mass hysteria in Chicago.
Tourists...ya know....don't mess up my damn shirts, do you think I like the idea rolling through my head that I only get paid 7 bucks an hour to pick up after your ass? How would you like it if I come to your house, go through your closets and scatter your shit around your house? Daaamn people...be considerate!!!
Rumba is gonna score a goal for me tonight at hockey...love ya honey!!
Night ya'll!
Another thing: Cubs fans and Sox fans mixed...shouldn't happen. Cubs fans are a whole breed of their own. Sox fans appear to be rather humble in comparison to Cubs fans. Not sure what it is. Its amusing to watch Cubs fans yell at the Sox fans..wait a minute? Your team sucks just as much as their team so what are you yelling about?? And they got the damn World Series...the last I heard the Cubs last chance at the Big One was whizzed down their legs...I'm so gonna get my ass kicked by my roomie when she reads this...haaaa, love ya Em!! I will say this: Even though I am not a baseball fan, I always root for the underdog team in a situation, and since the Sox have been an underdog team for..well forever..I root for the Sox...for this short period of mass hysteria in Chicago.
Tourists...ya know....don't mess up my damn shirts, do you think I like the idea rolling through my head that I only get paid 7 bucks an hour to pick up after your ass? How would you like it if I come to your house, go through your closets and scatter your shit around your house? Daaamn people...be considerate!!!
Rumba is gonna score a goal for me tonight at hockey...love ya honey!!
Night ya'll!
Friday, October 21, 2005
Emotional Meltdown
So tonight, my boyfriend and I are chatting and we start talking about immigration again. He talked to his parents today about it and was looking for suggestions from them. His mom was like "yeah it would be easier if you were married," his dad was like "whoa whoa whoa, stop the train." haaaaa!! They were teasing him of course because they know how serious we are. They ended up having a really good conversation and told him to talk to a few friends that have been through the process.
And I don't know what happened but I just lost it emotionally. I started focusing on the stress of the situation. The huge sacrifice I am making in moving up there, the uncertain timelines, the paperwork, the fees, the confusion, not knowing the jobs in Canada, how exactly we are going to go about applying...sigh. I made bad assumptions about his attitude towards the whole thing and I made the mistake of taking it out on him, which wasn't fair to him. I didn't mean to but thats how he took it. So...we really talked it out, he got me to look at the positive and we worked it out.
He has this amazing way of making me feel better without getting upset himself. He was obviously frustrated with me. I'm trying really hard not to get so stressed out over this and he is a saint for putting up with me.
Now that I am refocused and rational, I can see the positives outweigh all the stress. We're going to be together in the end!!! Regardless of the situation and what may come of it, we'll be together. We have long term plans and they involve each other. I have to keep that in mind...that he cares for me, loves me and wants me forever.
The distance is so hard. Its the hardest part of it all. We can't be together right now because of our school commitments. He can't come here, knock me over the head, and then pull me close to make me feel better. Sigh...someday.
Feeling better now...what a great man I love.
And I don't know what happened but I just lost it emotionally. I started focusing on the stress of the situation. The huge sacrifice I am making in moving up there, the uncertain timelines, the paperwork, the fees, the confusion, not knowing the jobs in Canada, how exactly we are going to go about applying...sigh. I made bad assumptions about his attitude towards the whole thing and I made the mistake of taking it out on him, which wasn't fair to him. I didn't mean to but thats how he took it. So...we really talked it out, he got me to look at the positive and we worked it out.
He has this amazing way of making me feel better without getting upset himself. He was obviously frustrated with me. I'm trying really hard not to get so stressed out over this and he is a saint for putting up with me.
Now that I am refocused and rational, I can see the positives outweigh all the stress. We're going to be together in the end!!! Regardless of the situation and what may come of it, we'll be together. We have long term plans and they involve each other. I have to keep that in mind...that he cares for me, loves me and wants me forever.
The distance is so hard. Its the hardest part of it all. We can't be together right now because of our school commitments. He can't come here, knock me over the head, and then pull me close to make me feel better. Sigh...someday.
Feeling better now...what a great man I love.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
"Cumulative Finals Are The Work of The Devil"
So says my intro forensic psychology professor..bless him.
I had my first graduate exam today. It didn't go as badly as I thought it would, but I know that one of the essays I don't expect to get a good grade. Oh well, its not worth as much as the paper for that class and I'll know what to expect on the final.
Today is my slow, tired day. Thursdays I usually take a nap, regroup and get ready for the weekend.
The next two weeks will be really busy and stressful. Next week I have a midterm due and a presentation. The following week, 2 papers due, a midterm and a draft paper due. AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I will survive, its just a matter of tackling one project at a time until it gets done. Hopefully...hopefully I can stay caught up on the reading as well. If I can get through the next two weeks, I think I'll survive the rest of the semester. Its just a really huge push now into the last 6 weeks...damn 6 weeks...of the semester when I have at least one thing due. Its definitely more difficult than undergraduate work because you want to push yourself to produce the highest quality of work possible. If slacking off is your game, grad school isn't for you.
I also work this weekend at the store. My manager called me today wanting to know if I want more hours and I'm going to turn it down. Just too much other stuff to do that I don't give a damn about making money right now. Most of ya'll know that I'd jump on the extra hours and helping out without a blink...but I have different priorities right now.
I helped my little brother write a paper last night. He had good ideas, just needed basic English and grammar help. I hope he gets a good grade on it. I think it will boost his confidence that he really can write, he just needs to refocus on his writing.
My dad has an interview today. I really hope he gets the job. He really wants it, his interviewer knows it and I think he'll be disappointed if he doesn't get it. Props to Dad for giving it a whirl, no matter the outcome.
Well I be off...time for my nap before I get cracking on my tasks.
Hope ya'll are doing well!
Love ya!
I had my first graduate exam today. It didn't go as badly as I thought it would, but I know that one of the essays I don't expect to get a good grade. Oh well, its not worth as much as the paper for that class and I'll know what to expect on the final.
Today is my slow, tired day. Thursdays I usually take a nap, regroup and get ready for the weekend.
The next two weeks will be really busy and stressful. Next week I have a midterm due and a presentation. The following week, 2 papers due, a midterm and a draft paper due. AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I will survive, its just a matter of tackling one project at a time until it gets done. Hopefully...hopefully I can stay caught up on the reading as well. If I can get through the next two weeks, I think I'll survive the rest of the semester. Its just a really huge push now into the last 6 weeks...damn 6 weeks...of the semester when I have at least one thing due. Its definitely more difficult than undergraduate work because you want to push yourself to produce the highest quality of work possible. If slacking off is your game, grad school isn't for you.
I also work this weekend at the store. My manager called me today wanting to know if I want more hours and I'm going to turn it down. Just too much other stuff to do that I don't give a damn about making money right now. Most of ya'll know that I'd jump on the extra hours and helping out without a blink...but I have different priorities right now.
I helped my little brother write a paper last night. He had good ideas, just needed basic English and grammar help. I hope he gets a good grade on it. I think it will boost his confidence that he really can write, he just needs to refocus on his writing.
My dad has an interview today. I really hope he gets the job. He really wants it, his interviewer knows it and I think he'll be disappointed if he doesn't get it. Props to Dad for giving it a whirl, no matter the outcome.
Well I be off...time for my nap before I get cracking on my tasks.
Hope ya'll are doing well!
Love ya!
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